Dead Inside Book II

Chapter 6: Voices

I did again, I broke it, but man, do I feel better. I was about to clean up the huge mess I made when I heard sobbing. I turn around to see Nash on his knees, crying his eyes out. He crawled over to me and slapped the razor out of my hand. He cupped my cheeks and our foreheads touch.

"Why do you do this, Cameron?" He asked whispering.

"I c-can not t-tell y-you," I said looking down at my bloody arms.

"Cameron, I am your best friend!" He cried,"Not to mention, your goddamn husband!"

My breath hitches at his booming voice. He eyes turn this darkish grey like he was both angry and upset at me. Why does he does he worry? I do not want him to leave, but I want him to understand that I am not going to be better anytime soon. He brings his face to mine our foreheads touch once again.

Do not let him fool you, he does not love you

Go die in a hole you insane freak!

He never loved you!

"Shut up!" I screamed pulling away from him.

"What did I say?" He asked coming closer again.

"Do not come any closer," I said backing into a corner.

He was confused, oblivious of the voices that speak more like scream demands in my head. I am surprised that he does not hear their scorching voices in my ear, telling me what I can and can not do. The voices keep telling me to die, that I am worthless, and I do not deserve him, my prince, who is confused on why I am keeping my distance. So beautiful yet so naïve about what I am feeling.

You moron! Why are you letting him come towards you? He is going to hurt you!

"No, he is not!" I scream gripping my head.

"Cameron, you are scaring me," he said nervously.

Just die already, he would not care!

I curl into a ball and started to cry, sobbing loudly. He walks over and was about to touch me, but I move away from him. I want that voice of mine to just shut up and go away forever. I lay there in that curled up position, staying away from Nash for about three hours until I fell asleep. When I woke a up, I heard Nash crying out on the balcony. I was about to stand up and comfort him.

He is baiting you! Let him cry!

He was gripping the bars tightly and I can hear him whispering incoherent. I just want to hold him in my arms without him telling me what I can and can not do. It is like my second mother always nagging me, telling what is wrong and what is wrong. Only this voice is not nurturing and comforting, but corse and full of hate. I have to comfort him, I can not stand him to be this way anymore.

I stand up and start walking over to him. He was telling me to stop or to run away, but I did not listen. Even though I am starting to have a headache, but Nash is more important. I walk over to him and open the door, hearing his voice echo in my head. I go to my knees and cover my ears, but I stood up and walk towards him. I turn him around, holding his arms tightly.

"C-Cameron, what are y-," He asked before I cut him off when smashing my lips into his.

I hear thunder in the background crashing loudly, but it seems like Nash did not care. Rain started to pour down on us, like we care. He put his arms around my neck and pulled me closer. Our love started to pour out like the rain. We let go and look into each other's eyes, smiling brightly. I run my fingers through his hair, pushing out of his face.

"Let us go inside," he said giggling.

All of sudden, my demon was telling me to pin him to the wall and attack him. I shook that thought off and laid down. I see him pull his shirt off exposing his pale back. My demon is tempting me to plant hickeys all over his bare back. I wanted to so badly, but I will lose it.

He strips from his jeans leaving on his sinfully tight box boxers. I bite my lip, knowing I should turn away, but I did not want to. I gripped the sheets, trying to contain myself, but it was becoming hard to. He looked at me giving me an evil smirk. If looks could kill then I would be dead. He walks over to me and sits on my waist. He grabs my shirt and pulls me up, centimeters from my face.

"Please d-don't," I pleaded gripping the sheets.

"How is going to stop me?" He asked kissing my cheek,"Cameron, just let go and relax."

"I-I can not, you know that," I said as he presses his chest against mine.

"Do not worry," he said seductively,"I will help you."

I gasp as he bites my earlobe and holds my hand. I felt a little bit at ease when he did that. He steps off my lap and goes behind me. He put his hands on my shoulders and slowly massages it. I lean back on him and bite my lip. It felt so good, his hand do wonders to my body. He plants butterfly kisses on my neck which made me relax my jaw. He bites my earlobe again which sends electricity through my spine.

"Do you like that?" He asked in a whisper.

"Mmhmm," I hummed as he digs is hands harder in my shoulders.

You wimp, why do you not show dominance?! Why do you not show him he is yours not the other way around.

Do not listen to him! Stay away from him!

I mute those voices and only listen to the thunder crashing outside. As much as I need to listen to them what I need to do is to care for Nash.