Once I near my room I hear noises and not just any noises, sexual noises were erupting from Nash and my room. I was not thrilled to see what was on the other side of that door. I open the door and the noises were louder. I peaked my head from the wall and seeing the horrible sight in front of me. Nash's face flushed pink, sweat dripping from his forehead, and he was a moaning mess. They both release before they saw me.
"How could you?!" I said crying,"I though you loved me."
He laughs making me cry more. He stands up and slaps me across the face. His eyes burning holes through my head. He pins me against the wall and starts beating me harshly. I feel my organs being smushed and flatten by his punches.
"How could I ever love a freak like you?!" He snarled then throws me against the wall once more, leaving the room.
Am I really alive? No. I'm still alive, just dead on the inside. I knew the day would come, but I did know it was that soon. How could I have been so blind to the point where I did not see the evidence?
No wonder he was in a daze when we were the house. Also the hour drive to go to a supermarket, I bet he told Kian and Jc to do that on purpose. He never actually loved me. He just used me for sex. If he actually loved me, I would not have to keep this fucking secret. I stood up and limping to my closet, grabbing my suitcase.
I limp out of the hotel room and walked well attempting to walk down the staircase. I go in the car and leave the hotel not knowing of my destination, or how far I am going. I just need to go away on a permanent vacation. I take my phone out of my pocket, calling Nash, of course it want right to voicemail.
"Hey Nash, my love, yes I still love you until death do us part, remember we promise to do that, well I guess you did not, but I did," I said staring to cry,"If you want to reach me, check the bottom of the ocean, I forgive you, Nash, never fake anything, at least promise me that."
The light turned green and I hung up the phone. Then a song came on that was all too familiar, it was my favorite song of all time, TALK ME DOWN by Troye Sivan. I listen to the beat of the music as I drove further away from my old life. I was so tired of taking care of everyone, I needed to leave this God-forsaken society.
I want to sleep next you but that's all I want to do right now.
That echoed through my ears as I felt my desires beckoning to me, telling me to go back to him, but I know he is bad for me, he is like a drug I am addicted to. I was in need to hear his beautiful laugh, to see those innocent
blue eyes, to smell his cologne, to touch his soft skin that was as white the snow, and to taste those blood red lips that taste like strawberries. I shook those thoughts off and kept moving far, far away from him.
After almost four hours of non-stop driving, I finally stopped the car in front of the Houston Ship Channel. I put my hood up and walk in between the traffic. I climb up on the edge of the bridge and looked down. I was so ready to be free from this curse of being gay.
I am too far gone for anyone to help me. Not even God can help this sorry excuse for a human. I hear people out of their car telling me to stop and do not do this to myself. I block that out and stepped closer to the edge. I look up at the sky with tears in my eyes.
"I am coming home, mom," I said smiling.
Black, it all went to black. Was I dead? Was I falling? All these questions buzzed around in my head. I could not tell the difference between life and death anymore. I woke up and I was in this black void. Just a space that seemed never ending. I stood up and walked forward, I started hearing muffled voices. I was not familiar with the voices, so I kept walking forward.
"Cameron, please h-hold on!" A voice echoes in the void.
I looked around, but I did not see anything. I was very scared by that, so I walked a little faster. I wanted to be familiar with this place because this indeed a hell for me, not knowing where I am. I hear more voices and it was started to scared me, so I started to run as the voices grow louder.
You are such a fag
Go die in a hole
You are such a man whore!
I begin to feel very expose hearing all the voices pick out my flaws. I try to cover my ears, but I look around trying to find a way out of this void, to feel like someone is here to keep me sane. I then see a person, someone that was actually know. I was so overjoyed that I ran to the person, I see Nash here, which I was drawn back a little.
"Hey Cammie," he said smiling,"I missed you."
I did not care about the nagging voice in my head that was telling to run away from him, I needed someone. The voice then all of a sudden silenced when he came closer. I hugged him tight and cried my eyes out. I was so relieved that he was back with me. I hear him giggle, that small giggle turn into a hysterical laugh. He was left my grip and sank down to the floor laughing. It was not a normal laugh, it sounded very psychotic.
"Oh Cammie, why would you leave me?" He said standing up,"Without me, you are nothing."
He snapped his fingers and he was gone out of my view and existence. I was once again alone in this void. The voices came back louder than ever. I sank down to the floor and cover my ears. I look down as tears streamed down my face.
I hope you die in hell
Well, I am in hell, my own personal hell.
YOU ARE READING
Dead Inside Book II
Fanfiction"How could you?!" I said crying,"I though you loved me." He laughs making me cry more. He stands up and slaps me across the face. His eyes burning holes through my head. He pins me against the wall and starts beating me harshly. I feel my organs be...
