Dead Inside Book II

Chapter 18: Depression

I wake up and I was in this dark room. I felt around for a light switch and I look around for a light switch, but could not find one. Just then I heard a someone light a match I turn around and I see the zombie standing over me.

"Cameron, you have travel so far, and yet leant so little," he said smiling,"Why do you continue?"

"I need to find him," I said looking down at the grass.

"Why do you keep going?" He asked,"You are too weak to go on."

"I can find him," I said looking up at him.

"Why do you hold on this pain?" He asked,"When you face with the truth do you close yourself off from realty and close out the people that are only trying to ease your pain, the ones that one you to hold on."

Shawn.

"I have taken him and you will never see her again," He said smirking. 

"Why are you doing this?" I asked feeling weak as I hate to say it.

"Because I must, Cameron," he said coldly,"Because I must."

He blew out the match and I heard a gate shut. I look around to see if there were left over matches or something. I then see a little light next to a plaque. I walk towards it and it read something that made me smile. Stars can not shine with out darkness, Nash's favorite quote. I look down at the light source and it was a little lighting bug. It wing was broken so it could not fly away. I used its light source to find the gate that he closed. I then see it and tried to open it, but it was locked.

"Of course, it is fucking locked," I said rolling my eyes.

I then see another light source, coming from where I woke up. I walk over there and I picked up another lighting bug. I then see a little oil lamp and put one of the lighting bug in the oil lamp and it lit up at half of the area. It was a tree and instead of leaves where photos of us when we were child to when we were married. Then I saw a photo that caught my eye. I picked off the tree and looked at it. It was the photo that broke the Internet. Then I put the photo towards the light so I could see it better, when I did that I seen something written on the back.

You Care about me more than my own parents did. You are so Adventurous, making me experience new things every day. You are very Motivating, making me believe that I can accomplish anything. You alway relax me, you always to me at Ease. You are Remarkable, if you do not see it then I need to buy you a better mirror. You are very Optimistic, making me see the positives of a negative situation. You are Nurturing, you always find a way to always me feel better.

I love you CAMERON with all of my heart.

Love your boyfriend,

Nash

I held the picture close to my chest, crying my eyes out. Then I look up at the trunk of the tree and something written on the tree. I walk towards it and read the stone. Put the star back in its place and soon your sadness will soon be erased, it read.

I under the last sentence and see a little star made out of stone. I had a feeling where I am suppose to put it. I go to the other plaque and see an empty space under the last sentence. I pushed the star in and the gate cracked open a little, but it still will not open. I then see words light up under the star.

What is real, and could not be faked, it is only three letters so it should be a piece of cake.

I see three little lines appear, I thought about it for a moment then I remembered my motto, it was joy that can never be faked, but how I am I going to right this down. I then see another lighting bug, it flew towards the first line and wrote a J with the light. The two other lighting bug came out of the oil lamps and flew over to the plaque as well. One worth the O and the one with a crippled wing wrote the Y. Just then the whole sky lit up, star illuminating the night sky. I could finally see the whole tree in it's entirety.

I see all the memories then I see the drawing I drew when I "was in the closet." It was a drawing of a boy who is standing there crying and on his sweater their was a heart locked up in a cage and under it had two words Love Sucks. He is surrounded by my heterosexual couples who are kissing in public, taking selfies of them kissing, and going on adventures. It brought back so many memories of my agony.

The three little light bugs flew over and start drawing Nash kissing me on the cheek. Then wrote something in the corner, You are never alone -Nash. I smiled at that, now realizing I was never alone, he was always there, even when I did not realized it. He was there, at my most venerable states. He was there when I was alone. He was there when I was afraid. He was there when I was depressed. He was always by my side through every step of my life.

Then I see something written in the sky just above the gate. Quit living in your past because time goes on even with me, it read. He was right time will not stop for one millisecond because life goes on. As much as I want to go back to fix this, I can not because Mother Nature will not let me.

The only thing I have learnt from this is, I was never alone, I am not alone, and I will never be alone because he will always be there.