Josh Matthews's Female Roommate

A Letter From Maya Hart

A/N: Hey there everyone! So I've decided to try my hand at some fanfiction... I don't know how it's gonna go. Hopefully well. Fingers crossed. Yes, this is a Girl Meets World fanfic and the partnership is between Joshua Matthews and Maya Hart. Just an additional note, Maya and Josh are the same age so their three years age difference problem isn't really a problem.
Disclaimer: I do not own Girl Meets World. It is a product of Disney.
So without further ado, I'll let Maya take over and tell her story.

I'm sure by now you've seen Joshua Matthews, and I'm positive I know what you're thinking. Holy crap, is he even a real guy? Lemme tell ya, he's real alright. He's good-looking, great with kids, and single to the boot? This must be the roommate of your dreams, right?

Wrong.

Here's my advice to you: If you value your sanity and don't want to be nagged for the rest of your life, I suggest you find a new roommate. Stat.

I know I may sound like I'm exaggerating because, geez, this guy is hot. But I'm telling you, begging you even, to take this advice. It'll save you months of nitpicking and badgering.

So... to show you exactly what you won't be missing, I made a list of the lifestyle, excuse me... I mean torture, I've had to endure over the past seven months living with him. The annoyances I've had to deal and live with. Maybe if you read them all, you can make the right decision and find a new candidate before you become tied to him by a contract.

Trust me. Looks can be deceiving. He's not all he's cut out to be.

So... Here we go...

1) sets up a cleaning and chore schedule with sticker charts and rewards like you're some kid
2) picks you up and tosses you over his shoulder if you "forget" to do said chores and won't put you down until you promise to do them.
3) uses your hairbrush for his hair
4) Too. Tall! And makes fun of your height, especially when you can't reach the upper cabinets and shelves
5) forces you to eat healthy. Low sodium. Sugar free. Low calories. It'll drive you insane.
6) #5 forces you to sneak in snacks outside of the apartment because he's very nitpicky about what can and cannot cross into the apartment boundaries
7) intimidates any guy you bring home (boyfriends, just friends, study partners, family, you name it) to the point where they won't come back unless he's not there
8) sleep walks and randomly ends up in your bed
9) nitpicks relentlessly over your choice of clothing
10) trashes all dates you have and won't shut up about how you can do better
11) back, foot, and shoulder massages: insanely amazing and will turn you to goo. Avoid at all costs. Avoid, avoid, avoid.
12) warm hugs and cuddles: insanely amazing and will turn you to goo. Avoid at all costs. Avoid, avoid, avoid.
13) running his fingers through your hair: insanely amazing and will turn you to goo. Avoid at all costs. Avoid, avoid, avoid.
14) if you don't avoid any of the above three and have experienced them, you have a major problem. Congrats! You're officially goo!
15) sleeps in boxers. Just boxers. You've seen him; you can see how this is problematic
16) has more products and things in the bathroom cabinet than you do. Don't expect much room for your stuff.
17) stingy about his car, his food, his clothes... Everything!
18) expects you to be nice to his catty dates who automatically hate you for living with him
19) has the nerve to get irritated when you scare off said dates (Best method? Wear spandex shorts and one of his shirts. Guaranteed success. Works like a charm... every time.)
20) chugs Monster drinks when upset with his life. Then becomes a mopey, somewhat hyper, upset mess and refuses to do anything the rest of the day. Be prepared to take care of him.
21) leaves shower with small towel around his waist (keep napkins on hand for drool.)
22) won't stop pinching your sides and legs just to see you squirm because he knows you're ticklish
23) implements some stupid rule where you can only have junk food three days a week
24) stops buying said junk food if he finds out you eat it more than three days a week
25) hides junk food if you protest (check the second to last drawer of the right hand side of his dresser. It's usually hidden there.)
26) likes deep analytical thrillers when all you wanna watch is some idiotic comedies. As a result, movie nights are spent arguing.
27) always out to prove you wrong or compete against you. Gives you no choice but to do the same
28) acts like a scared little boy when you're on your period. Granted, you're probably throwing fruit and remotes at him... but still...
29) can do your hair better than you can
30) personal space doesn't exsist with him. Not totally unwelcome but good to keep in mind if you bring a guy home. He will ask if you're sleeping together.
31) complains for hours about the paint bottles you leave everywhere. Then complains for hours about the paint he slips on. Then complains for hours about the paint stains on his butt
32) ruins your girls' nights by being utterly charming and then all your friends want to talk about for the rest of the night is him and how hot he is
33) goes shirtless when the AC is broken. Too attractive for his own good so don't be surprised if you find yourself ogling at him. It's completely normal.
34) works out on weekends at ungodly hours of the early morning. Like 5-7 AM.
35) invites Mama Matthews over twice a month. Said mom will proceed to believe you are his girlfriend. Don't bother trying to correct her, it will do no good.
36) gets oddly jealous and defensive when you mention running into exes.
37) the classical music...
38) "accidentally" walks in on you in the shower at least twice a week because he doesn't pay attention. Learn to lock doors.
39) video game and football nights with his guy friends. Don't expect to get any work done.
40) some of his friends will hit on you. Don't fight it. It's gonna happen.
41) don't try to date anyone while living with him. They'll get jealous. It's inevitable.
42) leaves you stranded on the toilet with no toilet paper as punishment for not buying any
43) forces you to sleep, drink tea, and take meds when you're sick. Handcuffs you to bed if you protest.
44) gets jealous/annoyed/irritated when you hit on his friends. So by all means do it.
45) turns into clingy puppy dog when he's sick and won't let go of you.
46) heavy and warm. Beware if he ever ends in bed with you for whatever reason, like his sleep walking.
47) his morning mood. He's not a morning person. At all. If you know what's best for you, you'll stay out of his way. It may seem like a fun idea to provoke him but don't even think about it. He's good at blackmail and sabotage.
48) do not leave anything personal lying around. Especially if you have a diary/journal.
49) and whatever you do, do not, DO NOT bring up the subject of Uncle Boing. Just don't do it. Forget I even said anything about it. Put it out of your mind. It's nothing important. Please. Do not bring it up. I'm begging you.

And that pretty much sums it up.

Joshua Matthews can be pretty annoying, but at least he cares. And he's gonna be your best friend whether you want him or not. So go easy on him. He's a great guy. Hopefully you'll learn to see past his flaws and love him.

Best,

Maya Penelope Hart