The Girl

TWENTY: THE WEIGHT OF LOVE

"You'll be on my mind. Don't give yourself away to the weight of love. You'll be on your side. Don't give yourself away. The weight of, weight of love..."

SONG: THE WEIGHT OF LOVE

ARTIST: THE BLACK KEYS

She liked to stare at me when she thought I wasn't paying attention. Her eyes were fixated, it seemed, closely on my profile. I could feel her gaze burning and memorizing every broken aspect of me before she concluded I was perfectly sane. Her fingers danced over the skin of my back of my hand, feeling the bones and knuckles before she was snuggling up beside me. Her long legs draped over my lap, her nose pressed to the side of my face as she inhales heavily.

"You okay, baby?" I asked, turning my head and sneaking a kiss. My brother looked over as soon as I did and smiled softly. Brianna ran her hand up my chest and sighed softly, pretending I hadn't said anything.

A little kiss was pressed to my jawline and then she was sitting up. "I get these weird bursts of affection and I want to be all over you. It's not even sexual tension. I just get hit with this ball of realization that I'm so perfectly in love with you."

I bit my lip and nudged my nose with hers, closing my eyes. "I love you."

"I know," She whispered and then kissed me one last time before standing to her feet. "I've got to get to class."

I nodded and watched her leave, staring at the inventory log in front of me. My brother came to sit in front of me with a sandwich and beer in hand.

"You know, being married is basically the same except now I wear this cool ring around my finger," Jack explained and then took a bite of his sandwich, chasing it with a lengthy sip of beer. "Okay, so what's the plan?"

"I was thinking we could start a small record label," I admitted and licked my lips. "I was actually talking to our label guys and they think it's a good idea. We'd be signing them, but they'd still make records through Capitol."

My brother nodded his head. "And the shop?"

"It'd be a good underground recording booth. Bands who want to produce a first record can come over for a cheap price, you know?"

Jack took another long sip of his beer, wiped his mouth, and then trained his attention on me.

"And you're going to do all of this while you're recording your own music and having a girlfriend?" Jack asked, raising an eyebrow.

I shook my head. "I already talked to Ben about it and he signed for part ownership and there's only one third of the ownership left and it's for you."

My brother placed his bottle of beer down on the coaster and sighed. "I have a baby on the way, Luke. I'm not going to have time for any of this."

"I know, that's why we have Ben--"

"And Ben spends most of his time drunk, Luke. What do you expect from him? Dad is always off on trips, I'm going to spend time with my new daughter, and you're going to be around the world,"

I frowned and then stood up. "I'll handle it myself then."

"No, Luke, don't--"

"I've been perfectly fine on my own, haven't I? I've been living by myself for a year, and I know I've fallen short on the rent sometimes, but I've made it through by myself," I told him, ignoring the lump in my throat. "I can get over mum dying by myself, I can go through rehab by myself, and I can do this by myself."

Jack didn't say anything as I left and I was glad he didn't because I would have started crying. I understood that he wanted more time with his daughter, but he didn't have to bring Ben up. I hated it when he used everyone's flaws as a reason for not being able to do anything. Ben liked to drink, he knew his limits and if Jack had been paying attention to any of us, he would have known that Ben hadn't touched a glass of scotch ever since he took me to the bar and I asked Brianna on our first date.