The Girl

BONUS CHAPTER: CALUM + LOLA (SEVENTEEN)

New York had become so much better waking up to coffee and the smell of his cologne in the pillows. It was perfect when I rolled into him and felt his skin against mine. His fingers touching my skin and chest shoving me into his warmth. Today, he ran his hand down my back. It was something he did when he felt particularly detached. The way he skimmed over my skin and touched the indents of my back before bringing his mouth against mine.

He always tasted like last night. The wine he religiously drank, the sweetness of the chocolate he always consumed. The combination had become my favorite to taste in the morning. I was drunk in him by nine in the morning. Whether I had classes or not.

"Good morning," His voice was raspy, mouth moving against mine. "What does your schedule look like today?"

"My professor canceled this morning," I explained and ran my hands over his chest. "I'm all yours, Cal."

He smiled and shifted our bodies so I was under him. His skin looked os beautiful in the sun. The way it shined almost golden and perfect, the inking on his skin complimenting every single inch of him. I traced over the tiny 'L' on the inside of his arm.

"I still think you're an idiot for this," I told him and then leaned into to kiss right where it was. Calum smiled and stared down at me.

"I was drunk and I missed you more than anything," He mumbled, finally telling me the story behind the first letter of my name marking his skin. "You didn't take me back and I was broken. You broke me."

I frowned and traced the letter with one finger and used my other hand to run my fingers through his hair tenderly.

"I was angry. You didn't wait for me," I reminded him and bent my knees, lifting one leg to wrap it around him. It wasn't enough. I wanted longer legs. Longer arms. I wanted to wrap myself around him.

Calum smiled after a moment and brought his mouth down against mine again. My other leg brought itself to wrap around him. His hand slid over my stomach, feeling the bare skin there. The tips of his fingers slipping between the stretch marks that covered me. I exhaled into his mouth, completely content. I reached for the end off is shirt and pulled it over his head.

"I want you to marry me," He muttered as he kissed my neck. I stiffened at his words. My breathing became shallow and Calum pulled his head back. "Are you okay?"

I swallowed and pushed him off of me. "You said it."

"That I want to marry you? I thought I had before," He spoke softly and watched me sit up in slight panic. He placed his hand on my back and gave me a confused look. "Are we not—What's going on?"

"I don't believe in that stuff, Calum—I mean, I guess I do, but it's just..." I trailed off and lifted my legs, pressing them against my chest. "I've never had a good example of a good relationship—I mean, it took us three years to be a stable relationship and we still fight all of the time."

"Lo,"

"I know, I'm being insane," I mumbled and then turned to him. I didn't notice when he did it, but when I turned, he was holding a shark tooth chain similar to his.

Right next to the shark tooth there was a diamond ring. My lips parted, eyes blinking rapidly as he placed the necklace over my head and rested it around my neck.

"We're going to get married and you can refuse all you want, but we're end game baby," Calum told me and then sat back, staring at me with a content smile on his lips. "You're the only one I ever plan on marrying."

My chest felt heavy and there was a voice in my head telling me that he wasn't saying the truth. That if he could break my heart before, he was still perfectly capable of doing it right now. I took the shark tooth in my hands, watching the silver gold ring hang. It was simple. A square diamond in the middle with smaller ones surrounding it. I swallowed and lifted my eyes so I was staring at him.

"I'm scared," I admitted and crawled over to him, placing myself in his lap. Calum wrapped his arms around me, kissing the messy strands of black on top of my head. "I'm in love with you and we're messy."

"That's okay," He whispered and then loosened his grip so I could shift my body to face him. I cupped his face and kissed him. I wanted to drown in him, fill myself up in him until I couldn't remember anything, but the syllables of his name.

Calum exhaled heavily and took the bottom of his shirt that was on my body, pulling it up breaking the kiss just enough to throw my shirt to the side. I wrapped my arms around myself, still unable to be comfortable with my body and sex. We had only done it a couple of times and every time was the same. I couldn't stare at myself.

"Babe, I love you," He reminded me and took my wrists in his hands, pulling my arms around me.

He looked at me like I was the greatest he had ever seen. The girl with stretch marks, rolls, and a hanging stomach was being stared at like she put the moon in the sky just for him. The feeling was liberating and I wanted it to last as long as it could. I wanted to feel like this all of the time and knowing him, he'd make sure I did.

Right now, I felt like a forever capable of being held onto.