Two Different Sides [An Annie x Armin Fanfic]

Chapter 16

Armin's POV

5 Months Later

Present

It's official.

Everything has changed.

When Eren, Mikasa, and I decided to undergo military training and enroll into the army as members of the 104 Trainees Squad, we got to know of the rest of the trainees, and eventually got to experience the hardships of being a soldier as time went on.

When I look back, I remember the times that were spent when we all had to work together.

But the word 'all' is merely an understatement.

Because now, the trainees that I have worked with and grew attached to are gone. I have to keep reminding myself that.

I have to also remind myself that not all of them are deceased, but are barely holding on. I know in my heart that I'm the one who has to keep pushing them forward so they can stand on their feet.

There's been times where I have looked in the mirror, and asked myself.

How can I be of use? I let my very own comrades to die in front of me. I would then shut my eyes tightly, trying to avoid the guilt that would consume me, leaving me on my hands and knees to drown in my own sorrow.

The memories would take over my mind just how hatred can easily consume your heart. No matter how hard I tried to avoid it, no matter how many times I would ask the Gods to spare me, the memories would always come back in a flash. And it didn't matter how many tears that streaked my face, because their deaths were a burden that I had to carry throughout my life as a soldier.

"Please, I don't want to die!"

"Just so you know, a bunch of people want to join the Legion this time 'round."

"Eren beat us to the punch earlier, but that's not gonna happen again."

I clench my hands tightly. I bite my lip from sobbing.

"Please...stop..."

"Them's fighting words, Thomas."

"It's a battle to bag the most Eotenas!"

"Heh, don't you go padding your scores, alright?"

Tears roll down my face.

When everything seemed normal..

"Squad 34. Advance!"

Until..

"Provide support for the vanguard!"

I slowly stood up and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I touched my tear streaked face as my reflection stared back at me with the same eyes I had, back then.

"All right!"

I'm such a coward..

"Let's go!"

If only I...

"Yeah!"

If only I had...

"So many Eotenas already?!"

"The vanguard was supposed to deal with this!"

"What the hell are they doing? Are they nothing but talk?!"

If only I had...

"An abnormal type?!"

Saved you..

"Stop!"

I shut my eyes and covered my ears.

I rocked back and forth for what seemed like forever, until the memories were no longer in my head.

After a while, I stood up, only to look at my reflection once again.

That's when I noticed it.

My eyes held a different emotion other than sadness and guilt.

They were vengeful.

That's right, I thought.

Nothing will ever be the same.

Nothing.