Good Enough (Jerrie)

Chapter Four

Perrie's Point Of View

I had slept for about twenty minutes before getting the same nightmare again and again.

I saw the same evil smirk and the voices. The voices saying that I deserved it. They are right. I'm fat, stupid, ugly, don't deserve Zayn or Little Mix, that I can't sing, and all of the things I have.

I could feel the hot tears pour down my cheeks. I'm so weak. Why did I have to be so weak? I heard footsteps and assumed Jade was coming to check on me.

I smiled at the thought of her. With Jade around everything felt really safe. I heard the door open and Jade walked in with a tray of food. I bit my lip not wanting to eat.

She set the tray in front of me and then sat next to me. "Baba," she started. She then took my chin and turned it so I was looking directly at her.

"Please eat something. I know this is very hard, but we'll get through this. I love you so much Perrie," she told me with tears in her eyes. "Babe," I said while hugging her.

She quickly hugged back. I rested my head in her shoulder for a while. I'm pretty sure the hug now is longer than a normal friendship hug, but I didn't mind. Being in Jade's arm just felt natural to me.

I frowned a little when she pulled away. She looked at the plate and said "I got some take-out and decided to give you a plate since you need to eat something," I just shook my head at her.

"Perrie, you need to eat," she said seriously. I bit my lip looking at the food. I slowly took the fork and took a small bite of the food.

It only made me realize how hungry I actually was. 'No stop it Perrie. You don't deserve food.' I thought to myself.

"Pez, please eat some more," she said while taking the fork out of my hand. She created a bite and held it in front of my mouth. "If you won't feed yourself than I will," she said. She then pulled a pouty face. She knows I can never resist those.

I slowly opened my mouth and she put the fork in. I ate the food and swallowed. "You know it hurts me so much seeing you upset. A perfect girl like yourself doesn't deserve pain," she told me while looking into my eyes.

She thought I was perfect. I could feel a little blush rising to my cheeks. I looked up and saw Jade looking away from me. I smiled at her. I had never told anyone about being a lesbian. That was until Zayn figured it out.

For years I wanted to be with Jade. She was just amazing. Had a perfect body, her eyes made me melt, her laugh when Jesy said something dirty, or when she would say something really smart. I could go on for days about how Jade was perfect.

I wanted her to be mine, but she was straight and wouldn't like someone as imperfect as me. I sighed looking down at my hands. I heard Jade start to get another bite ready. This time I opened my mouth for her right away. I didn't want to make Jade sad.

We sat in silence still as Jade kept feeding me. I noticed that the plate of food kept getting smaller and smaller until she stopped feeding me.

"Perrie I know this is hard to think about, but we do have to turn Zayn in and get you checked up to make sure everything is okay," she told me while looking nervously. I shook my head frantically. The Zayn stans already hate me and think I'm a liar. If I tell them what happened I'm scared for what they would do.