Chapter Eight: Not a Single Word in the World Could Describe This Hurt

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||Allie's POV||

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!" I screamed at them and thrashed against Joe's arms.

"Y-you can't just leave us." Patrick inhaled sharply before speaking again, "You can't."

"I WANTED TO DIE! I WANT TO DIE AND YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!" I sobbed into my hands and pushed myself away from Joe's chest, who had fresh tears track down his face as he gave up holding me back, "You don't understand. No one understands. I can't do this. I can't fight anymore. He's always there. I can't do this. He is going to find me."

I kept repeating those words and rocking back and forth as my eyes filled with tears again. Why couldn't they just let me die? It wasn't that hard to understand and yet, they didn't get it.

"I know it's hard, Allie." Pete whispered hoarsely from across the room, "I know."

"Y-you don't know.." I whispered, "and I can't tell you."

"Why not Allie!" Patrick snapped, "You have been acting different since that night and we all can see it! So come clean, what happened that night!? Who is Daren?!"

I hissed as his name fell so effortlessly from Patrick's mouth; a word as dangerous as that coming from such a beautiful person like 'Trick seemed wrong and immoral.

"Patrick-" Joe started.

"No!" Patrick snapped again, "How are we supposed to help her if we don't even know what happened to her in the first place!"

"Everyone calm down!" Andy shouted from the other room, only to be ignored by the two bickering boys.

"She needs us right now!" Joe frowned.

"And we are here! But we need to know what to do to help her!" Patrick stammered.

"Can't you just-"

"Daren where are we going?" My mind was playing tricks on me again. I was seeing that night again in my head.

"Stop! She needs help, Joe!" Patrick yelled.

"Shh babe, I said I would make you feel better." He said and closed the bedroom door behind us.

"Don't you think I know that! I want her to be okay, too!" Joe stood up as Patrick did, as well.

It was a mere second before his mouth sloppily crushed into mine and I felt myself freeze.

I gently pushed him away, "No. Daren stop."

"You don't know her like I do-" Patrick all but whispered.

It was too dark to see anything clearly but I could make out his features which were obviously upset.

"Don't you trust me, Allie?"

My head was stuffy and I felt hot tears track their way down my cheeks and I yanked on my hair again, only to be pulled into Pete as he slowly and carefully forced my fists open. He kissed my head lightly for good measure, the boys' arguing flooding the motel room.

"Everyone STOP!" I shouted, having enough.

It wouldn't get better for me. Not right now. But the only people I had were the four boys standing around me. And I couldn't lie to them anymore.

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