Hidden Behind a Smile

Trying to Understand

One after another I'm adding more drawings into my sketchbook. I've even let a couple of my friends draw some things of their own. In study hall today, the girl who sits next to me was pointing out that my drawings are sad. She also said how she didn't understand why people are depressed.

Here's the thing. If you have never experienced being depressed, then there's a good chance that you will not understand it. It's also a different feeling for everyone. Everyone faces their own demons, and each of our unique demons haunts us in a different way.

Another thing I don't understand; why do doctors think that pills will fix the problem? Ya sure it'll make someone silly and "happy". But how does this benefit the person? It seems like it's more for the sake of everyone except the individual. Some may like the effects of the medication. But I know people who don't.

That's another reason that I don't want to tell anyone about how I feel. I don't feel like with therapy, medication, and all that other stuff. Not saying that I would have to deal with those things, but it's a definite possibility. I'll pass.

I understand myself. I don't want anyone trying to get into my head in an attempt to understand me. To me that feels like an invasion of privacy, because they would try and force me to talk. I like being quite. I have my own ways of dealing with things that work for me. I don't need help. I don't want help.

I've asked for help on other things before and got nowhere. They simply don't understand me, just as I don't understand them at times.