Hidden Behind a Smile

It's So Easy To Hide

You soon learn it's easy to hide something that you'd think would be obvious...

I have stopped trying to hide my actions and how I feel, and just act natural. It's so easy to stay under the radar with just a few things. I've quickly learned.

Sometimes I have to wonder though. With everything I do, it has long since come to my attention that it seems as though people don't notice. But with how I work, I always have to overthink everything. So I've come up with a few options:

- I am good at hiding things and covering up my tracks.

- People are blind to the obvious.

- They do notice, but don't care.

- They do notice, but are too afraid to confront me about it.

I could probably come up with a few more if I really sat around and thought about it. It could even be a combination of a few. I don't know, because no one talks to me. Although, I know a few people have noticed because one person found out, then all of a sudden I've got 3 more people on my tail asking questions.

I don't really give a shit if I'm confronted, but chasing me down at school isn't the way to do it. Also there's only 2 people now who I'm comfortable with telling, because I can trust them. One already knows 'cause she was there. I don't know if the other knows... 

I want to tell him, but I just don't know how... He's told me, so why can't I tell him?... I guess all I can really tell him is I'm sorry. He's one of the few people I care about...

Will sorry be enough? Of course not... I don't know. Like I said, I want to tell him, but I just can't figure out how...

I'm sorry... Will you forgive me?