~Marshall's P.O.V~
I'm so stupid, I am so fucking stupid. Why couldn't I bite my tongue for one second. I can't rush this with her. If I push too hard she's going to push me away. I've had too many screw ups with her, it's a blessing she's even willing to try. I knew she looked thinner but I didn't realize she lost twenty pounds. But to me she'll always look the same. Beautiful, in every sense of the word.
I don't know if I'll be able to control myself around her, even seeing her the other day it was difficult to keep my hands off her. I know that if she'd just let me kiss her she'd come back to me. She would remember all of our good things and forgive me. I know it's not going to be that easy, and I'm going to have to do a lot of begging and pleading but I'm willing to. I want to because I want her.
She'll be here any minute, and the nerves I feel are beyond distracting. I've never been this nervous with her. This is like when we first met and then on that first date, she didn't want anything to do with me. She hated me. And I can't help but feel like she hates me now, or at least what I did to her.
I pace in the living room, I just can't sit still. I've never cared like this before, not about anything and I'm so scared that she won't come back. God I really fucked up.
My head snaps towards the door when I hear a few light knocks. She's here. My heart beats vigorously inside my chest and I walk towards the door. I pull it open and she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear nervously.
"Hi." I say, trying to shove the shaking out of my voice.
"Hi..." She flicks her eyes up at me.
I step aside and she walks in. Once again it's just the two of us alone. At least she's here, it means a lot to me that she came. She puts her bag down in the place she always used to put it and my eyes follow her. Soon we're just looking at each other, she shifts under my gaze.
"Stop looking at me like that." She says, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Like what?" I ask, she always used to say that to me and I was never really sure what she meant.
"Like you're going to kiss me." She answers, shifting again.
I'm getting the feeling she's uncomfortable and I want to fix that. But the only way I know how would be physically, and I don't think she wants that from me. At least not right now.
"I don't know how to change that." I tell her, involuntarily taking a step towards her. "I can't help it."
"I know you can't."
For some reason that gives me a hint of hope. She knows I love her, I knew she knew. How could she not? I'm so sick in love with her it's making my chest ache. I take another involuntary step towards her, I just want to be close to her in any way I can.
"Do you want to sit?" I offer, glancing at the couch. That'll give me an excuse to be near her.
She shrugs and then walks over to the couch sitting at the end. I sit in the middle, putting my arm over the back and facing her. She crosses her legs and her arms and I don't know what to think of it. She does that when she's putting her walls up, and I don't want there to be any walls with me.
"You got a new tattoo?" She asks, breaking the silence.
"Yeah, I got three actually." I answer. "Do you wanna see?"
"Where are they?" I can see her getting nervous.
"Just on the arms." I tell her. "It's nowhere special, I think I'm starting a sleeve."
