"It would mean a lot to me." I say.
Trying to get Marshall to give the gym another try is going to be much harder than I thought. I can see it in his eyes that he doesn't want to go, but his only other option would be to retire.
"Rachel, please." He looks at me with longing eyes. "Please don't do this with me today."
"You always say that and then we never talk about it." I explain to him, leaning against the kitchen counter while he gets himself a glass of water. "You've only got two more fights left, you need to decide what you want to do."
"I can't think about that right now." He says, shaking his head.
"Can't or won't?" I ask him, this is the fourth time I've tried to bring this up.
"Rachel." He says sternly, looking at me and raising an eyebrow as if he's giving me a warning.
"Marshall I don't care what your decision is, it's whatever you want. I just want to have this figured out." I explain.
"Is it really just what I want?" He asks, his tone challenging me.
"What?"
"Is it really what I want?" He asks again with a little more attitude in his voice. "I have you and our child to think about. What I want doesn't matter."
"Yes it does." My eyebrows twist in confusion. "I want you to be happy."
"I can't keep fighting." He shakes his head. "Not with the baby coming."
"But you want to." I tell him and he doesn't answer me, just takes in a large breath. "Marshall-"
"Enough." He shakes his head. "I'm done with this."
"I'm not." I fire back, feeling myself get mad at him. "We need to figure this out."
"Rachel I don't know what else you want me to say." He challenges again. "I already told you I can't fight because of the baby. I won't."
"The baby is not the reason you can't fight, stop saying that." I feel myself getting worked up, I think I might start crying. "She's not even born you can't blame her for existing. She is not the reason you are choosing to give it up."
"I didn't mean it like that." He bites, trying hard to keep his temper under control. "I can't be getting hurt, you heard what the doctor said."
"You won't be hurt if you're just training." I explain, involuntarily putting a hand over my stomach. "I don't see what the problem is."
"You know damn well who my problem is." He mutters under his breath.
I'm taken aback by this and I feel a cringe of pain in my chest. My tears start to come immediately. I shove them off my face, flaming mad at him now.
"I can't believe you." I say quietly. "Look at me." He inhales sharply and turns to see me crying. "I'm your wife Marshall. We're having a baby. And you can't let go of one mistake-"
"Don't put this on me." He cuts me off, his voice getting hoarse. "I am not the one who-" He stops himself before he gets any further. "I did not bring him this deep into our lives."
I start to breathe hard out of anger. So mad more tears squeeze their way out. I wipe them away with the back of my hand and walk around the kitchen island. I'm halfway around when he puts his arm out, preventing me from passing.
"You can't just run away anymore." He says with anger. "I'm your husband god dammit and you will not walk away from me."
I look up at him and feel myself fill with pain.
