It Started With A Twitter Letter (One Direction)

Torn

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People I'm so so so sorry for the delay but I had some issues going on for past couple of weeks. But please don't take out your annoyed feelings on this story? 

And please check it out my other stories called Helping Her As A Mediator (zayn malik) And another fanfic called The Bride (Zayn Malik) is coming soon! :D

Chapter 18

Torn

Zayn's POV

I felt it before I could register what happened. Her soft plump lips pressed against mine. It was a simple peck and we didn't continue it. But what surprised me, was that it was her who initiated it. 

She kissed me.

Every end of nerves in my body was on fire. For the time our lips touched, my grip on her went limp, making me go  weak in every part of my body. I didn't make any move, fearing that whatever this was, would stop, would break and I would never get this time again. But when I didn't feel her moving away from me, I couldn't stop myself.

Capturing her face in one hand and the other going aroud her waist, I pulled her against me and kissed her roughly, wanting to devour her, trying to promise to give her everything she could ever need and would ever ask for. 

But she didn't kiss me back.

Not this time.

Tears stung behind my eyelids as I tried to get a reaction from her, pulling her lower lip between mine, but she didn't respond, she just let me kiss her. I couldn't stop the quivering of my lower lip, and the tears fell. I didn't separate my lips from hers though, I didn't want to. I wasn't ready. I wasn't prepared to face her, to take the rejection, to hear that she did't want me in that way. But why did she kissed me in the first place though? I knew she felt the saltiness of my tears in our still-pressed-against-each-other lips because she immediately pulled away only for me to see that it probably wasn't only my tears.

She was crying too.

Her palms cupped my face as I tried to look anywhere but her. She pulled my face to face hers.

"Z-Zayn?"

I didn't answer.

"P-Please look at me, Zayn." Her fingers combed through my hair. I sighed and looked in her eyes. They were almost black. Red veins prominent in the whites and the puffiness didn't go unnoticed. She looked so sad.

She looked torn.

"You know," I started whispering, not being able to trust my voice. "I didn't know I liked you before. I..." I took a deep breath. "I never wanted it to be like this and I know how much you love Harry. I didn't realize that I lo-liked you until I heard from Harry that you kissed." A dark blush crept up on her cheeks but I ignored it. I tried to look strong by forcing a smile out but inside I was breaking slowly and painfully.

"I'm sorry, Zayn. I-I don't know what cam over me right now. And, the truth is... I'm not sure. I mean, till now, I considered you as my best friend for life and death and beyond everything but now I'm not so sure about that." 

I felt like all the brain drained from my brain. Her each and every word tore me inch by inch. I knew this kiss didn't mean anything to her that it was a mistake for her. I was dying to tell her that it wasn't! It was probably the best moment in my wole damn life! This kiss meant everything to me. I didn't want it to mean nothing to her. I wanted to plead! I wanted to say 'please don't do this to me. I would do anything for our friendship. I don't care if I'm not anything more than just a friend but please don't break what is left of me, of my heart.'

The tears couldn't stop now. They flooded all the way down to my chin like a river. I couldn't look her in the eyes, knowing that what was about to come would kill me. I didn't want her to see what it actually did to me. 

"But now," She continued after a pause, "I think you mean more than that to me." My head shot up.

Wait. Did I hear her right? 

"W-What?" I stuttered.

She closed her eyes and spoke. "I mean, I think you mean as much to me as Harry. And I don't want to lose anyone of you. You both are... are... everything to me, god damn it! It was you two who made me who I am right now! You both gave me the happiness which not even my own people back in India could give me." She cupped my cheek and spoke while caressing my stubble, "Zayn, you always meant more than a best Friend to me. Its me who wasn't ready to admit it. But now I have no choice. The problem is.. I don't know what the hell I should do!" She started pulling at her hair. I pulled her hands back before they could take out some hair from their sockets and took them into my own hands, rubbing circles on the back of hers. 

"Meera, look its okay, alright? I understand its hard to like two people at the same time and I don't want you to regret your decision. I can understand if you choose him," trust me, I will understand, but I might not be able to be fixed again. "Now, lets just go to sleep yeah? You and I both are tired. And, by the way, what are you even doing here right now? I mean, Its totally okay with me! but, what about... Harry? Wouldn't he think something fishy is going on?"

She looked at me straight in the eyes and spoke in an authoritative voice. "I straight away told him that I'm here for the rest of the night and welcome you with some spicy food which apparently needs some microwave heat again." She smiled and we made our way to the kitchen.

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Peace,

Chitralekha