Chapter 45

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"We meet again"
Toby smiled at me outside of my house.

I took his hand and shook it politely
"Good luck on your tour"

He nodded and walked back to the SUV they were taking. Reagan slowly made her way back over to me and smiled unsure of her decision.

"Go make people fall in love with your book"
I held her face in my hands as tears began to swell in her eyes.

"I don't think I want to anymore"
She shook her head.

I chuckled lightly and brushed her tears away with my thumb.
"I love you, go make something of yourself, and you come back here in a few months and write another book and do it all again"

She laughed and pulled me in for a hug.
"I love you"

"I love you too"
I kissed the crook of her neck.

"You can call me whenever, you can text me whenever and I'll always answer"

She nodded and pulled away.

"I will"

Toby opened the passenger side door
"Reagan we gotta go"

I held her hand as far as I could before we broke apart and she slid into the backseat.

Just like that, she was away from me, and my body ached for her.

I felt like I stood outside forever, the wind blowing ever so often and the sounds of birds and the city around me, then Leah's hand on my back as she sat down in the driveway next to me.

"You going to stay out here forever?"

I stared at the concrete underneath me and shrugged.
"Just - I hate being away from her"

"It'll make your bond stronger, she wants a career, she's doing her own thing, this was a choice she made before you even came into her life"

"That's why I told her not to stay, I don't want her to blame me when she's sixty and she thinks back and wonders what would've happened if I talked her out of going"

"You know, one thing I've never told you, I had a boyfriend, his name was Chance, he was the brother of my best friend when I lived in Paris, Carmen was in ballet and he would come sit in on practices and when I finally learned he stared for just a little to long he had already made the move to talk to me"

"You guys fall in love?"
I stared at the ground.

"We did, I loved him like he put the sun in the sky and gave my skin warmth, I was fifteen, and people say you can't find love at such an age but I believe I did, I felt like I was invincible and with him the world could be taken head on"
She put her hands together, colliding them.

"I broke it off when I switched schools and moved to the other side of Paris, he would write me everyday"

"Like Noah from the notebook?"
I smiled.

She laughed at herself.
"Kinda, but the letters were never hidden from me, I let ballet take over and soon I couldn't reply to any of his letters and I quit getting them and I just sort of felt like it was too late"

"When I was seventeen, I seen him on the streets of Paris, the place were I moved, and he was just admiring it, and I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and watched him, he caught me staring at him and we shared this silence together"

She interlocked her fingers together and sighed.
"He said "I had too see the place that took you from me" And I looked at him without saying anything and just stared at the ground, after the lump in my throat decided to fight its way down I couldn't think of anything to say so I just told him that life has a way of doing things"

"That's it?"
I turned to her.

She nodded and let out a sigh.
"Yeah, Ive never been good with saying how I feel"

"You and I have that in common"
I chuckled.

"Your more better at it, I see the way you paint"

"But that's not talking"
I argued.

"Yes it is"
She smiled.

"It's one giant story, one big emotion, you just have to read it"

"And what do they say then?"
I turned to her.

"Well when you did the portrait of me two years ago it goes to show that we hadn't seen each other in ages cause I look nothing like that"
She stood up and playfully nudged me.

I laughed and took off after her chasing her towards the house.
"No fair, you never got on social media or sent me a picture!"

" you used my seventh grade acne picture, did you not see that haircut?"

"Nobody talks about middle school, everyone was embarrassed by themselves in middle school"
She turned to face me as she walked backwards.

We reached the front door and play fought all the way to the living room.

"And this here credence is how wild animals act, here you have the fierce buffalo and the roaring cheetah"
We both stopped ruff housing and stared at Cameron who was holding credence.

"I'm the cheetah right?"
I pointed at myself.

Cameron smiled and nodding causing Leah to grapple me playfully to the floor.
"I don't want to be the buffalo"

"I'm already the cheetah!"
I stammered between laughs.

Leah began tickling my sides causing credence to let out a high pitched laugh which made everyone in the room smile and turn to him.

"I think he liked that one"
Cameron positioned him where he could see us.

"He sure did"
Leah spoke again before tickling me.

"I'm gonna piss my pants!"
I half yelled.

Leah pulled her hands away from my sides and held her ribs as she laughed harder than I've ever seen her laugh.

"It hurts"
I held my sides staring at Leah who was now laughing without actually making a sound.

"She's so stupid"
I caught my breath.

Credence waved his arms at me as if he wished for the show to continue.
"What if I tickle you"
I grinned shaking my fingers at him.

Cameron moved him away
"The cheetah is not aloud to mess with the lions Cubs"

"Im aunt cheetah though!"
I pouted.

"It doesn't matter"
She smirked.

"So if Leah is a buffalo does that mean that the baby cub eats the buffalo?"

Cameron then laughed.
"I guess so"

"Credence your going to be getting a big meal"

"Is that a fat joke?"
Leah glared at cam.

Cameron shook her head.
"His stomach is literally the size of a baseball, he could eat like five of your fingers and be full"

Leah pulled her hands into her hoodie sleeves and pouted playfully
"He can't eat me"

"Food chain"
Cameron stood, holding credence in her arms.

"He will be mighty and strong and eat you"
She spoke as she sat him gently in Leah's arms.

Leah gently rocked him in her arms.
"He would never eat me"

Cameron sat back down on the couch and sighed.
"Good cause I really like taking turns holding him"

"Mom problems 101"
I laughed.

I think if I had children it would take longer than expected to not have that new mom look. How do you hold it? How long do you burp it?

I couldn't see myself filling the shoes of being a new mother, even if I loved Reagan and wanted to grow with her, I wasn't ready for a baby. Not at 18.

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