Ranterism

Assignments and Presentations

Le Teacher – Chennai has got an apocalypse, the city has become an island due to the continuous rain since 15 hour's... *yap yap yap* SO SUBMIT THE ASSIGNMENT IN A WEEKS TIME! IT CARRY’S 100 MARKS EVEN THOUGH THE CITY IS DROWNING BCOS YOLO!

Students - *yawns* wait what? ASSIGNMENT, COME AGAIN? BLOODY FUCKING GROUP PROJECT?MARKS TO BE ADDED TO OUR END SEMETERS?! *GASPS*

DUN DUN DUN!

Don’t we all love getting assignments and make a presentation in class… NOT!

I hate it when teachers blackmail students to sit in a group and do a project with people by luring them for marks and attendance._.

I hate projects because if I have to do it solo I start hyperventilating but when it comes to group project my life flashes before my eyes. If you think college is where all the students ride on a unicorn and poop rainbows BRUH STOP DREAMING IMMEDIATELY.

College is nothing like how they portray in movies. It’s a real epic shit and if you come out of it alive you would be slapped with a printed paper awarding you a degree then you would most probably pushed into a sector to work like a mad dog. I know a few people who dropped out of college because after 780 days of studying they realized that this shit was never for them.

Any whales back to the point, do you like doing assignments and present it to the class? Any memorable experience?

From what I have noticed, you will always find these typical people during group projects.

DA BOSS- this person basically barks order at everyone and delegates the work but in front of others act like he/she did everything without any help by burning the midnight oil.

Teacher ji! I didn’t eat anything since yesterday because I was busy with the group project. I hope you like it and it meets your expectation.

DA REVIEWER- This person is like the assistant of the boss. If the boss is busy with some shit you should go and poke the reviewer’s arse for help.

I’m approachable. Babe cum for me… uhh I mean come to me if you need anything and I MEAN ANYTHING *creepy look*

DA PHILOSOHER- all your ideas are okish. LISTEN TO ME! LETS DO IT LIKE THIS! WHAT THE FUDGE DO YOU KNOW? OH PHULEASE YOU SCORED A MERE 60 IN YOUR TEST WHILE I SCORED A GOD DAMN 105/100. What do you have chicka?

Chicka – I have natural round tits?

DA PROCASTINATOR – LOL most of us fall in this category… should I even tell you anything?

DA Monkey – this person doesn’t even stick in one group for long; keeps jumping here and there and ends up back to the original group. Contributed nothing but manages to get his/her name on the completed project.

Ma’am I don’t wana stay in that group, yeash they are so scary and… and Da boss took my pencil but stuffed it in her cleavage later because there was no space on the table. I want to be in a new group PWESHEEEEEEEEE. *After a few days* Yo babes I’m back! I was in other groups to spy on their works and see what shit they are doing. I know I got brains right? Now put my fucking name in the project credits.

DA NOTHINGER’S – these guys don’t do anything! This person is infamously famous for doing nothing and no one wants this person in the group but the teacher lovingly makes that person be in your group because a .00001 billion years ago you guys sat together while catching butterflies.

You remember carrot ? From my previous rant about periods. Carrot is a person who yaps that she knows everything and brings down other people in their knowledge but contributes nothing. For the past two and a half years I’ve been doing her work because I used to sit with her during my first semester so when carrot is taken for anything (when people have no choice) everyone contacts ME FOR HER WORK! ABKJLPOQ12I1!@#$%^&*.  

*snaps the head of my chocolate bar* Sorry I just lost my nuts for a few seconds.

I just love presentations….NOT!

Projects and stuffs are manageable but that’s not the same for presentation. I don’t know about you guys but I always nearly faint before a presentation is about to happen in class.

I will sum up all my experience into one story I just made up.

~*Le Presentation Time*~

Me - Guys! It seems a guy is also going come and judge out presentation.

Cue lots of screaming, squealing and jumping around.

Brinjal - He might be strict; do you all know which slide you are supposed to speak?

We ignore brinjal while writing down a few points in our palms. Bitter-gourd notices that carrot is missing, we try calling carrot who says that she is on the way but still hasn’t reached after we tried calling her for the 199th time then she switched off her phone.

Tomato babe starts screaming because she forgot to bring the hard copy of the presentation.

We manage to set up the projector with the aim of smoothly finishing it off but when we see that the male specimen is not just a specimen but a really fine specimen we wished him goodnight, a girl tripped over the wire of the mike yet we still manage to give them all a sugary sweet smile.

“So what are you all going to present about?” Le hamburger lady asks us with a glare while me and Da Boss are telling her the topic we hear giggles and stuffs, with wide eyes we turn around and see that our group member opened a video that was showing an energetic bunny couple jumping around and they were about to make out; le carrot enters the class and trips over a wire that caused the projector to go off.

 “So we are here to talk about Intimacy and...” Carrot opens her mouth. The students giggle while we try to pull her back.

“Beach, what the fudge you doing?”  Carrot shrugs and tells us that we didn’t give her any part o she doesn’t know what to do but because a steamy scene was going on she assumed we were going to talk about sex >_<

Da Philosopher faints so we take a break while another group takes our presentation slot. Everything gets fucked up, we forget our lines, we ramble nonsense but somehow manage to complete the presentation and answers the teachers questions.

We peek and see that we passed so we all start to rotate our hips like a maniac while carrots opens her big fat mouth and speaks “How wonderful nah? If it weren’t for me you guys wouldn’t have got good grades. I saved you all. I am the epitome of beauty with brains.”

We look at her then go back to shaking our booties. LOL!

This last semester in college is going to be a helluva ride. There will be sleepless night, failed meet ups to complete the project early, people not willing to come half an hour early even for a week to complete the work, no one willing to be the editor, no one willing to take print outs, stress, worry, tension, insomnia and what not.

But we get to learn something that we will never use in life so that’s a plus point for all this right?

TRIPLE UPDATE! WHOOP WHOOP! Who knew that people would actually be reading my shitty rant book *wipes tears*
I'll update something tomorrow also ;)

 I know I have never said this before but*shameless promo* if you have some time to spare then please have a look at my book called Running Away, I’ve updated 7 chapters and there are just 3-4 more chapters left so… *coughs*