Ranterism

Expectations V/s Reality

So, @Krazy_Kiran gave me an idea to rant about Socitial expectations V/s Reality but I'm just gonna combine it with general expectations also bcos why the hell not?xD

Expect the unexpected! What you expect never happens because your expectation is set at a fucking high bar and the reality is really meagre compared to it.
Duck the world XD

~ First kiss~

E - when we kiss, there will be fireworks. He would caress my skin, I would feel alive, it would be magical and so surreal and then he would graze his jaw against my cheeks that would cause tingles in my body and *squels*

R- did you just sneeze on my face? Why the hell are you groping my body? Your facial fair just poked the inner folds of my nose!
Ewww did you just pass a chewing gum into my mouth? Disgusting piece of shit.
STOP TRYING TO TEAR MY BOTTOM LIP AWAY WITH YOUR SHARK LIKE JAWS!

~ SEX ~

E- we would make love all night and day, we would have breakfast in bed and shower together then he would make me orgasm again and again till I reach heaven above *inserts dreamy eye/ blissful state emoji*
I would finally get to lick my way with his abs *heart eye emoji*

R - umm *tries to hide body* why does he have so much chest hair?  I can't see his fucking abs!
Oh shit did he just insert his carrot in my doughnut and pass out? Should I touch my hands around his pee-pee and take it out then walk away from here and run away from the country.

Is that... a tattoo of a fucking heart on his butt? Where are deep, dark, magical swirly inks?

~ Exams ~

E- This is an easy piece of cake, even a first standard kid could do it. Pffft I'm going to nail this paper big time. I'm after all a genius *pulls collar up*

R - yea ki hogaya? What language is this paper in? Do we even have this subject *scratches head*
Let me count the questions and calculate the marks I need to pass for this exam. Oh Lord!  Help me pass this one and I swear that from the next exams I'll pakka prepare well and come.

~ Dreams ~

E - I will grow up to be a...

R- Kya? Beta, that's your hobby, you can't turn it into your source of income. LOG KYA KAHENGE? How will you get married if you get into this hobby of yours plus do you even get paid much in this stream
? Why did you waste your degree nalayak?!

~ Marriage ~

E - I will establish a career, chase my dreams, be independent then finally settle down after I hit 28-30

R - you are 20 now! Start learning the basics of running a house. Sharma nahi ati? Can't make gol rotis also. Saas kya sochegi? Tere pati ka khayal kaise rakhegi? Kaam karna seekh! (Have you no shame? You can't even make round chappatis/ Indian bread. What will your mother- in-law think? How will you take care of your husband? Learn some work!)

~  Review of Food ~

E - The pictures of the food got me drooling! Oh gosh I'm already hungry thinking about the pictures I saw online.