Ranterism

Romance? uhh

Some points maybe weird.... like really weird so yeah umm lol. Don't tell me that I didn't warn you *snickers*

~Weird romance stuffs~

~ He pinned me against the wall
Girl, didn't your back bone break? Like are you some kind of portrait that made him 'pin' you to the wall? Pardon me if you are. Carry on pinning each other.

~ We smashed our lips, he bit my bottom lips asking for entrance. Our tongues fought for dominance.
Oh I see, you like to have lip wars? Like why can't you just kiss normally? You have to 'crash your lips' or 'mash them'
The only good thing to mash is  boiled potatoes  then turn them into paranthas <3 don't you dare laugh at my love for potatoes *squints eyes*

~ I've never had sex but I knew I was ready
This chick had a boyfriend for ages but they didn't do anything other than kissing but with this new guy she is ready to pop her cherry because why the hell not?

~ he made me feel so beautiful, so special, I didn't feel like it was my first time.
First of all, the girls in the romance book (mostly not all) have self esteem issues but after the guy kisses her and transfers feelings through the kiss the girl doesn't mind that she is naked. She becomes so bold and orgasms more than once even though she is a virgin and knows nothing.

Was she actually ready? No extra teeny tiny hair around the booby, no smelly arm pits, no bad breaths... Why the hell is everything so perfect and not awkward? The girls are never on their periods when they have sex! If she is then the guy humps her from the back *awkward silence*

~ My name rolled of his perfectly skilled smooth tongue
Where can we enroll in this trendy tongue related classes? I'm sure there are many of us waiting to get these classes

~ His eyes held a naughty glint and he gave me an approval upon looking at my crimson red bra with jet black floral patterns and a loop in the centre that matched with my hot pink underwear that had neon blue, glow in the dark spots that complemented my skin.

Is it wrong to own simple underwear? What's wrong with plain ones? You are going to be roaming out with your clothes and your underwear won't be seen by anyone so why always buy fancy ones for no occasion or reason?

~It was a lovely sunny day so I wore a thin white spaghetti top over my exotic lime green bra that was underwired so my melons popped out from the coconut shell.~
Random stuffs lol. Just wanted to write this scene for no particular reason.

~ He wanted to punish me for being naughty, instead of being scared I instantly got turned on thinking of the ways he was going to punish me.
Guy proceeds to spank the girl with a spatula but she didn't beg him so he sizzled her butt with some sizzlers.

*don't worry!  I'll call the cops. How dare he hit you with the sauce pan?*

Girl - AHHH,  more! Harder! Faster!