In the Shadows~zayn au~Completed ✅EDITING

~Chapter 58: Nature vs. Nurture~

                  

"More updates", I said. "November will be a great month for updates", I said. Well, as you can see that was most definitely not the case. So I'll simply apologize once more and reiterate that there is no way that I'm done with this story. I've written a LOT of stuff that comes up later and I'm dreadfully excited for you all to experience the roller coaster of emotion that's coming.

(RECAP: Zayn said no to doing stuff because he wants them to do it for the right reasons [yeah, I know, a little unrealistic, but I hold out hope that some guys are like that])

They lay still, holding each other for a time. Kalysta still felt the embarrassment of realizing just how much she wanted to keep this man's attention. She had never cared before, so to care this deeply now was an insult to her pride.

She found herself running her fingers along the tattoos on his chest again. It didn't seem possible that she would ever grow tired of it. However, as her mind wandered, she was able to consider the conundrum she faced.

Thomas was not only showing open rejection of the resistance, but outright hostility. What could have happened to make him so disinterested in the plight of his fellow men? It didn't make sense to her.

"Why is Thomas so adamant not to stand with anyone?" she asked. As she said those words she felt Zayn's entire body tense from where she was curled around him.

"I'm not quite sure," he answered. "Thomas has always been fiercely independent of the other nations on principle. He despises politics from what I can tell."

She couldn't be sure, but it seemed he was withholding something from her. Last time her suspicion had been this roused was when Louis had been holding onto his secret. She'd been right on that occasion; was she right for this one as well?

"I don't want to think about all this," she voiced aloud. "Distract me please." The last part she whispered and then she kissed his chest.

"I told you we aren't going to try right now," he said warningly.

"I'm not an idiot," she grumbled. "There are other ways to distract each other as you've so aptly demonstrated."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," Zayn said uneasily. "We don't know when Thomas will be willing to meet with us. It could be any time and now we won't have the buffer of Louis being the one to come fetch us. We might encounter another guard and I wouldn't put it past them to simply jaunt in here unannounced. Velians aren't well-known for their respect of privacy and that would present us with quite a problem, would it not?"

"I was hoping you'd finally teach me how to take care of you," she pouted. "And I'm dressed as a boy. They'd just think you favored men and had brought your companion along for your pleasure."

Zayn sputtered and coughed. "That would be worse, I believe. Velians are categorically against such... behavior. It's punishable very harshly here."

Kalysta gasped and sat up. "You can't be serious!"

"Unfortunately, I am," Zayn replied, sitting up as well. "There is a pronounced weight placed on furthering the nation and its military prowess. Anything seen as a hindrance to that is outlawed. In this case, favoring someone the same sex as yourself removes people that would normally be reproducing and making the nation greater. If any hold those sentiments they keep it to themselves."

Kalysta was appalled. The very idea of it was ridiculous. "How does that make any sense?" she protested. "If you love someone, does it matter whether it's a man or a woman?"

"Here it does," Zayn sighed. "It is seen as detrimental to the furthering of their society."

"I'm still having a hard time believing it," she returned. She lay back down, considering it in her mind. "I'm trying to think of all the people in this nation who are told that their very being is wrong. It's despicable."

"It's best not to dwell on it," Zayn said.

"You may be able to do that, but I cannot!" Her voice was louder than she wanted, so she quieted a bit. "It sickens me to think of it and I can't believe this doesn't bother you more!"

"What good does it do me allowing things to get my temper up?" he cried. "I can't do anything to directly affect their policy. Why should I let their handling of affairs rile me?"

"Because apathy, lack of sympathy at least, indicates that you have an incredible number of things wrong with you!" She rolled away from him and crossed her arms, furious.

Zayn puffed out a breath, got up, slid into his shirt, and walked out the door.

"Because leaving helps the situation at all!" she called after him.

There was no indication that he'd heard her, so she was left to stew in her anger.

How on earth could he simply not care about something like this? He had never been so cruel before. What in his life could lead him to be apathetic when someone else's very rights were being infringed upon?

Perhaps she had misjudged him. Truly, there wasn't anything either of them could do about the situation. She simply couldn't think about it without being angry, though. When she was young her mother had talked to her about it after Kalysta had seen two men walking in the street holding hands. It was simple. People were different and it wasn't within anyone's right to deny someone happiness as long as it wasn't harming someone else. She'd been raised that way.

Come to think of it, Zayn had not been raised to think of people in such terms. The only goodness he'd known was from his mother and he'd been taken away from her when he was five. All the positive ideals he held now were of his own determination. There were bound to be a few he either hadn't considered or had been led astray on.

With that thought, she realized how terrible it was to assume he would believe everything she believed when he'd been raised in Mullingar. She supposed an apology was in order, but she'd have to wait until he returned to the room. If she went out looking for him he would probably explode with fury. It wasn't as if she knew where to look for him either.

She resigned herself to waiting... impatiently.

A/N: Sorry if this wasn't everything you wanted in an update, but it's... ya know... important, for character development if nothing else.

Love you all and thanks for keeping with this!!

~Kari~