Smoked Success

14.

Oh my god, is that Christian? This must be a mistake, I'm sure. I'm hallucinating. I cannot call Hannah to ask about this, since she's probably sleeping. I cannot really think of this in any good way, in anyway actually. Does Smith know about this? Is this why he acted so flirty in class? Something must be wrong.

"Miss, we've arrived." The cab driver interrupts my thoughts, I pay him and get out.

I'm so pissed at everything and everyone right now. Oh so that undergarment was the other woman's? Even Earl lied to me? I can't believe this, how could I be so stupid? All those 'work' phone calls, I can't believe I bought those. I'm so naive. I walk as fast as I can to get to the loft, I don't want to be seen outside anymore. I arrive to my room and sit down, I can't help it but cry. I feel so vulnerable and tired, I just want to sleep it away.

"Jessica, are you alive?" I hear Carmel's voice, which wakes me up. How long have I been sleeping? I look at my wrist watch, oh my I slept for three hours. Smith has called twice, so did Hannah and there's a text from my mother, great.

"Oh," I look at her, "yes I am."

Both my roommates knew about Christian, it's not like he's a secret or anything. Sasha wasn't in LA for the moment, she has this fashion show in New York. She's a model if I haven't told you. I'm really in the mood to smoke, but I've decided to smoke once a week now, so students wouldn't notice.

"Are you okay?" Carmel asks, looking concerned, "you've never napped this long."

I always napped one hour if I were tired, ugh. I'm still sort of pissed, but I want an explanation, I need one.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I fake a smile, hoping that she won't notice I'm hiding something. "I'll make a phone call and get back to you, okay?"

"Sure thing." She smiles at me. As she gets out, I rush and dial Hannah's number, as if there were a ten seconds timer in front of me.

"Jessica, I'm glad you called." Hannah's voice appears, the one she gets when she's hung over.

"I need an explanation, please." I plead, forcing myself not to cry. I don't need this to be any worse.

"It's Christian, I'm not going to lie, I'm sorry," She announces, trying to be as sympathetic as she can, "that model's my friend, and he does come very often, glad he does not notice my existence. They've been together for six months now."

I sigh, not knowing what to say, I didn't expect this from Christian, at all. I thought he was faithful, but apparently not. I hate this, I hate him, I hate the fact that he ever touched me.

"Jessica, I know this is horrible, and I do not think you should forgive him, but take this as an adult, don't make a huge deal about it." She states.

"Hannah, I'll call you later." I tell her, I'm not in the mood to talk right now, I want to drink and forget about all of this.

I get out of my room and head to the kitchen, Carmel raises her eyebrows, not understanding what's going on. I look in all the shelves, I haven't drank ever since I've come to London, and I cannot find any bottles for god's sake.

"Carmel, do we have any whiskey bottles?" I ask, hoping she answers.

"No, why though?" She questions, knotting her eyebrows.

"Wine?" I look again, hoping to find something here.

"No, if we had drinks you'd see me drinking twenty-four seven." She scoffs, gripping her David's star charm on her necklace, yes she is Jewish, not very but she is. "Why do you want to drink though?"