A Thug Love

"Im A Mess"

Brittany;

I was sitting in Langston's basement by myself, which had a high aroma of marijuana, and liquor.

Not surprised.

I have too much on my mind at the moment, and you don't want to know the half. I just terminated my first child, because of who it was by. Tuh, don't judge me, you would've too. My mom is dating this dude named Will, which at the moment I don't like. He tries too much, to be like my actual father, and if you must know. Daniel and I's father, is no where to be found. I wouldn't be surprised if he was dead. I mean, most people's fathers pop up every once in a while... mine on the other hand. I haven't seen anything but pictures of him.

Daniel used to tell me what he could about him. Daniel was one when he left though, so it wasn't much. But being there when Digg took his first steps, said 'Da-Da', and changing a diaper or too. So I never really tried to reach out to my father.

Then there's Craig, I don't know what has happened, he was one of my best friends. Now all of a sudden, he's throwing shade. I mean, I guess I should watch who I call my friends from now on. Then trying to help raise a half grown a-s woman, and if you must know who I'm talking about, I'm talking about Rhea. She's like my little sister. I honestly don't think Langston is her best choice. I mean, they're not even together, and females are trying to kill her; imagine if they do end up together.

Plus, with Langston and his 'thug mentality' along with the drug dealing isn't any good for the both of them. Trust me, I know. I'm just scared for her. Because, Rhea's had enough heart breaks in her life, and imagine if they actually fall in love, and Langston gets hurt or worse. That will just drive Rhea straight off the edge, because I remember how she used to be when we were younger; before her dad was killed. Rhea was sweet, friendly, had no problems with anybody. Then, one day...

Her and I were headed home, and Lance came running up the street, telling us not to go in the house. But Rhea had already knew what had happened. She ran straight for the house, and Lance and I chased after her. When the people were carrying her dad out in a body bag. Rhea screamed and cried, and I'll never forget that cry, it was like she never cried before. Then the next day, she wasn't sad... she unusually 'happy' while everyone else was sad and crying. But I could tell there was something different, she wasn't our same old Rhea anymore.

She turned into someone totally different. Like, something in her had died, and something else had began to live it was like... she was her mother and trust me you wouldn't want to see that. Rhea began acting out, and then as she got older she turned into the perfect little barbie doll, letting any and everybody else tell her who she had to be.

But now it's like she's changed, ever since Langston has been around for these past two months. It's like she's finally got her father back, she smiles all the time, and she's just the happy, down-to-earth Rhea again. I'd just hate to see her heart broken anymore.

Then there's Daniel. Tuh, I mean honestly. The boy has gone crazy. Sometimes Daniel will leave the house for days, and not come home. Sometimes, when I walk past my moms room, I can hear her crying asking, 'where did she go wrong'. But, honestly I can't find out where either. I mean, she did everything she could. She was our mother and father. It wasn't like she'd go off and leave alone or, she would drop us somewhere and not come back. Our mother was never like that, sometimes my mom would take us to work with her, just to make sure we were alright.

She'd be hungry before she let us starve. She is a good mom. I don't know why Daniel is acting this way, but... I hope he gets himself together. Like; the other day, my mom, Daniel, and I were all at the dinner table, then he just got up and walked out. My mom called after him a few times, but he just wouldn't listen. I just wish he'd tell me what's wrong, so maybe I could help him, or maybe we could go get some help. But I need my brother, and I feel like something is coming, and I don't know what, but I just hope my brother is careful about it.

Tuh, I'm a mess.

"Yo, Britt... you alright?" I looked up and saw Audrey standing there.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I lied.

"You look like you been crying," She replied.

"Nah, I'm good... I'm good. What's going on?" I asked.

"Nothing, we were just worried about you, so I came down to check on you" She informed me. I nodded.

"I'll be up in a second"

"Alright," She slightly smiled, and walked back up the stairs.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

[ Later That Night ]

Langston;

"Rheaaaaa, wake up!" I yelled in her ear, and her eyes fluttered open.

"What?" She asked, with an attitude.

"You hungry?" I asked.

"No," She rolled over, and tried dozing back off.

"Attitude" I mumbled.

"I heard that," Rhea shot back.

"So," I retaliated. She took a pillow and hit me with it.

"That's rude,"

"So," She mimicked me. I began tickling her, and she had started laughing and giggling. I loved that.

"Okay, okay, okay!" She said, still laughing, while I was tickling her sides. I eventually quit, and laid my head on her chest, and began rubbing her stomach, as she ran her fingers through my waves. I felt something move a little, but she was probably just hungry, so I let it go.

"Can I ask you a question?" Rhea asked me.

"Shoot," I replied, with a slight shrug.

"Why is BeeBee like that?" Rhea questioned.

"Honestly?"

"Duh,"

"Okay, well. We were together for about three years, and the only thing that was keeping us attached was sex, but I didn't realize that at first, so just to save us some pain... I let her go. But what I failed to realize, is that she had feelings too. Then I found out she was 'pregnant', so we got back together, so we could try to work things out for the sake of the baby. But, then I found out she was lying and I kicked her out, and ever since then every girl I've dated she's had a problem with" I explained.

"Oh," Rhea stated.

"Yeah..." My voice trailed off.