Psycho || h.s.

Chapter 17

(Ignore the model and her shoes
READ THE NOTE AT THE END PLEASE)

"Call me those names, kill me with words, but at the end of the day, my blood is on your shirt" -me

Raisa

So Harry and I kissed. And I won't deny that I liked it. It was real awkward too, because I had never kissed anyone before, and I struggled to follow the movement of his lips, but after like 4 seconds I got it. I still can't believe it happened.

Even though it happened, it still doesn't fix the fact that my brother is gone.

He was all I had, and he died hating me. Everyone hates me.

Today is Rais's funeral, and they have no idea who killed him. Just the same with my parents. Harry has to stay clear of the police scenes because he's led to some cases, even though the officers do not have enough proof.

I wore a black dress, with lace for the shoulders and it stopped right at my knee. My heels were black and my small lace hat was subtly covering my forehead.

Harry and Zayn tagged along to the funeral with me, both dressed in full out black, along with black leather boots.

I am so short and they're quite tall, so it looks like they could be my body guards.

Everyone gives us strange looks, well not me, but Harry and Zayn.

The men dig his hole and the women watch, crying. Family comes up to me from time to time, telling me sorry, and hoping that god accepts him into heaven, but in Arabic of course..

Fun fact, I'm not Christian. Surprise, Surprise. I'm actually Muslim, but I jus call myself that.. I'm not exactly faithful to my religion.

I hope you don't look at me differently because of our differences, but I only hope it brings you closer.

After the men have dug his hole, they carefully lift his coffin and put it into the hole. We all say a prayer, and surprisingly, Zayn joins in. Harry just stands around looking confused as to what we're saying, and I just give him that 'act normal' look.

I promised myself I wouldn't cry, and so far, I have kept that promise.

After the men are finished, they fill the hole halfway, and place the tombstone, and rocks. They place another layer of dirt and rocks on top.

I see Zayn smile at the corner of my eye and I become confused.

I shrug it off and walk along to Rais's grave.

"I love you, Habib' I say. (Habib: my darling) (a/n this made me cringe saying it)

If only I had the strength to say those words when he was alive.

A tear slowly rolls down my cheek, showing my weakness. I quickly wipe it away, and continue to keep my guard up.

I walk to the boys, hearing the mud squish under my black heels, dammit.

I take my small cap off, and hold on to it.

"We can leave now" I mutter to Harry, as Zayn approaches me.

"I'm sorry, Raisa." He says and hugs me, making me uncomfortable but not as uncomfortable as hugging my own family.

So, this is what my life has come to?