The Pretend To Be Agreement

BONUS CHAPTER - 2. HOLIDAY SPECIAL

Grace

"Why does it sound like you're at a frat party?" Kimberly asks and I can barely hear her over the shouting coming from the living room. With the phone being pressed to my ear, holding it there using my shoulder, I stir the soup in the pot before me. Walking behind me is Cindy, Miles's little sister' bumping hips with me, and then lets out a frantic cry when something crashes to the floor.

Tossing a glance over my shoulder I see her on her knees, cradling her cell phone in her hands, her eyes wide and full of fear. I watch as she goes to wake it back up, and when the lock screen shows up she mumbles something along the lines of: 'Thank you, Jesus!' I let out a snort which gets me a glare from her, but I only shake my head and go back to listening to Kim.

"That's because Miles's family is over for the holidays and all the men are in the living room watching the hockey game." I answer, sticking my finger into the pot and then bringing it up to my mouth. Licking the contents off it my nose scrunches up and I snatch the salt off the spice rack and put pinch of it into the soup.

"Canadians ...," her voice trails off, giving this conversation a bit of dramatic effect. She speaks up suddenly when I don't think she will and asks, "Wait! ... Does poutine actually exist or is it just a myth?"

I roll my eyes. "Kim," I start off slowly, "Have you ever heard of a stupid question before?"

She pauses, thinking it over and then a second later I hear a scoff coming from her side of the line. "You're an asshole, you know that?"

"I do. It really doesn't bother me that I am. And to answer your question – yes, there is such thing as poutine. Stop talking about them like they're a whole different species, please, it's annoying and offensive." I tell her, turning the timer on the stove for fifteen minutes and then walking out of the kitchen and heading to the living room.

I trip three times on my way to the living room. The first time was over a toy lying on the floor; the second, almost crashing into Barbra – Miles's niece –; the third, when I stub my toe on skateboard that I have absolutely no idea why it was inside. Picking it, I place it under the rectangular table behind the couch so nobody else would trip over it.

When I finally enter the living room I find that there's nowhere to sit because all of the Herrington men – including Mile's two other sister's who didn't exactly count as they were too busy texting on their phones – sat around the room, taking up all the functional and appropriate places to sit—even the floor.

Now where the hell am I supposed to sit?

I let out a low groan. "How many are there of you?" I ask, thinking out loud, and clapping a hand over my mouth once I've realized what I've just said.

All eyes dart towards to me, which shouldn't have been as shocking as it had been, but since the last time I came to the living room an hour ago I had to practically shout over the television to get at least one person's attention. But right now? Not so much. Had I really been that loud?

"Ugh ...,"Oh, crap. I mentally slap myself. Please, please, with a cherry on top, stop staring at me, "Hi ...?" This totally isn't the most awkward thing that's happened to me, at all. There was that one time in the first grade where I peed my pants on a school field trip when I couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough. But this definitely took the cake and I'd rather relive that day then be in this situation right now.

"Kim, I'm going to have to call you back," I say into the phone, almost completely forgetting that she was still on the phone with me, still yapping my ear off. When I get a grumbled reply from her, stating that Hayden was hungry and suggesting they go out for dinner anyway, I hang up.