Senseless

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Dear Miley,

I want to apologize for not writing you for the past month. It wasn't part of my plan but that is what happened. I have been traveling around my territories and making sure everything is okay. It hasn't been an easy month for me or my gang. I haven't been the best leader for them either.

My anger got out of control again and I acted irrationally. I have lost my temper more then once and I feel terrible every single time. Anger is constantly consuming me and I can't seem to cope anymore. The constant emotions are never ending. I hate this. I hate all of this. I know right now it just seems like I am complaining and I sort of am complaining. I just don't have anyone to talk to and it just seems easier to deal when I am writing these things down somewhere.

How are you feeling these days? I know that I can reach out to Fringe, or someone and see how you are doing but I don't want to do that. I don't want to find out from someone else how you are doing. I would rather talk to you and find out everything from you but that doesn't seem to be possible anymore.

I dream about you. I try not to sleep because of the dreams. Sometimes the dreams are nice and sometimes they are not nice. Sometimes they are terrible dreams and I wake up covered in sweat and sometimes I even wake up because of my own screams. Those dreams are the worst of them all.

The dreams might just be the worst thing ever. Some people say that escaping the reality is the best part about dreams. I think that is the worst part. Whether it is a good or bad dream, it still hurts. Mostly because when I wake up, I am still alone. Once that pain sinks in the anger consumes me again.

Maybe these letters will help you just as much as they help me. Maybe these letters will help you in understanding me a little better. These letters could be benefitting the both of us. I suppose that is the best outcome for this.

I'm sorry.

Jason.

(I just posted my new fic. Please go comment and vote! xo)