Those Perfect Flaws || ✓ || PUBLISHED

Chapter 8

Date: 25th January, 2016.

Edited on: 23rd June, 2016.

I'm so sleepy and tired. It's 3 am. My exams are coming up and I all want to do is write and watch American Horror Story. Life sucks.

"It's kinda weird how when you're depressed,
sadness clings to you.

And you cling to it.
It becomes all you ever know.

You start to wonder if
you were ever truly happy.

Everything becomes a blur of pain.

Everything, even living, takes effort,
and effort takes motivation
that you just don't have anymore.

Everything you see becomes another thing
that could be used to hurt or kill yourself with."

ALASKA'S POV

A month later.

I sat on my bed with my knees pulled up to my chest, with my chin on them at three in the morning. These dreams, nightmares were getting worse day by day. More violent. Scary. Sleep had became a myth. If I was lucky, I would get two or three hours of sleep.

There wasn't anyone I could talk to without sounding ridiculous. I could still see marks for a few seconds. It was so weird and I don't know, terrifying? My mum always told me I had a vivid imagination.

I didn't know what to do. I was beyond terrified. I was rocking  back and forth to calm myself from that horrible dream.I was tired of this but I couldn't do anything about it. I thought about calling Liam but I couldn't. If I called him over, Liz would get mad. As it is, she was acting all cold and distant towards me because I was was 'almost dating'  Liam.

So much fucking drama.

And Blaze was a completely different story. Yes, he did stay with us but he never ever talked to me. Not even once. This was the longest time we had gone without talking. I missed him but fuck him and his motherfucking ego.

A few minutes later, my alarm beeped and I got out of the bed, thankful I had school. Weird, right? But now school was the only thing that helped me keep my mind off things and keep me sane. Yeah, my academic record was going down but whatever I did was long forgotten after a few seconds.

Procrastination had become my religion because I couldn't concentrate on anything.

My appetite had decreased too and I didn't mind, I didn't care.

I got out of the shower, already in my under clothes and walked towards my closet. I pulled out the first thing I saw and quickly threw on those clothes. Shorts and a sweatshirt? Okay then. I did the usual routine, putting on mascara, combing my hair, blah blah blah.

Liam beeped his car's horn and I grabbed a small carton of mixed fruit juice on the way out. I got into the car and kicked up my Converse covered shoes on his dashboard and greeted Liam.

He just shook his head and we went on the way to the school. I sunk deeper into the seat and made myself comfortable. Liam just focused on driving, him telling about why he got mad at his father this morning. We didn't believe in having small talk.

I remember how me and Blaze absolutely hated having small talk. We texted each other without saying hello and he used to tell me why he got mad at his father. He told me why did he have an Europe shaped scar just below his right ear. He used to send me paragraphs about the time when he spent his holidays at his grandma's place. The girl's names and photos with whom he hooked up with. He used to call me when I was half asleep and told me why he didn't really believe in God. He told me about the first time when he saw his granddad cry. He used to go on and on for hours about the things that weren't important and I hung to every single piece of it. He used to tell me everything. We were never the ones who talked about the weather when things got awkward or we had nothing to say.