Struggles of a Fangirl

Struggle #6

A/N: so um i kinda messed up when i was making the cast. I said I needed four girls for the love interests, when really i only needed three ._. I tried to fix things without cutting anyone from the story but theres no way for me to work around it. So the person that I said is playing Prods love interest isnt going to be his love interest anymore. PLEASE DONT HATE ME BECAUSE YOU'LL APPEAR SOME WHERE IN THE BOOK LATER ON!!!!!!! I cant say why you're being cut because that will kinda ruin the story but i promise to put you in the book later on. IM SOOOOOOO SORRY :(

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It's weird when you begin to drift apart from your best friend. You feel incomplete and confused as to who the person that you shared so many good memories with, really is.

 Ok so maybe I'm being over dramatic but Jayla and I have been close for years. She's like  the sister I've always wanted . The one who alerts me on whats hot and whats not. The one who lets me borrow clothes when we go to events. The one who protects me when I need it. I've shared everything with this girl and for her to just turn around and ditch me for some boy she barely knows makes me sick. And to make things worse, she didnt even seem to show any guilt when I called her out.

 Rolling out of bed I walk over to my desk and open up my laptop. As soon as I power it up it dings with an email and I open it. MINDLESS BEHAVIOR HAS PICKED THE WINNER FOR THEIR COSTUME DESIGN CONTEST, CLINK THE LINK BELOW TO SEE IF YOU'RE ONE OF THEM!

 My heart leaps towards my throat as I clink the link that brings me to their website. The word CONGRATULATIONS flashes at the top of the screen. I scroll down to the users who won and I bite my lip before reading the names.

 Whinter Jackson-Cumberland, RI 

Renee Walker-Houston TX

Kenyanna Gomes-Southfield, MI

Joya Samuels-Bridgwater, VI

Carmen Michaels-Boston, MA

 I swear I must have read that list at least 5 times and stared at the screen for a good 15 minutes. I can't lie and say I'm not hoping that my name will magically appear because of a mistake. But after sitting in my chair long enough for my butt to fall asleep, I realize that there is no mistake. My designs just weren't good enough for Mindless Behavior. Depression sets in even though I try not to feel to crushed. But how I can pretend to be ok? Everything was riding on this contest and I didn't win. I was so confident and now I have to face the cold hard truth.

 I'm not good enough.

 I quickly exit out of their website and onto twitter, I click the button to create a new tweet.

CallMeKacey_MB: I didnt get picked for @MindlessBhavior :( contest but congratz to the winners. Have fun!

There is no type of sincerety in my tweet but I dont want anyone to think I'm a sore loser, especially Mindless Behavior. Everyone on my timeline is already tracking down the girls that won to bash them and send them hate, I didn't want to witness any of it so I simply log off and go onto tumblr.

 Turn out tumblr is no better. Pictures of the winning designs have already been disvoered somehow. I swear Team Mindless does better work than the FBI when it comes to digging up some dirt that's MB related. I have to admit, the designs are pretty cool but the salt is all to real right now. I groan as I stare hard at the designs.

 "That should be meeee!' I screech, attempting and failing at hitting my Justin Bieber note. After sulking for a few moments I finally close my laptop and stare at the wall, wondering where I went wrong wih the designs. I wish Jayla was here so I could vent because honestly, I feel like crying right now. Call me dramatic, call me unneccesary but its hard when you get such great oppurtunities to meet someone you love and then your dream is crushed in a matter of seconds.

 A knock on my door jolts me out of my thoughts and I sigh, trudging over to my door. There's no use in fixing my raggedy appearance, I'm not in the mood to impress anyone unless Mindless Behavior is on the other side of this door.

 My face falls even farther when I realize who's on the other side of the door. "This day just gets worse doesnt it?"

 "You're still mad at me?" Jayla asks with a frown.

 I roll my eyes, "Who let you up here?"

 "I'll take that as a yes." She replies before pushing past me and into my room. I close my door tightly as Jayla walks in and takes off her shoes. She turns around to face me. "I'm sorry about the party Kacey. I was out of line alright,"

 "It's not even that Jayla. If you wanted space you could talk to me privately instead of embarassing me infront of strangers. That was probably the worst thing that has ever happened to me." I snap at her, my temper is very short at the moment so I'm not going to be easy on her.

 "I know and I'm sorry. To pay you back I gave Devon money to pay for his busted speakers. You're off the hook." She tells me with a smile. I stare at her blankly to show that I'm unphased. "Come on Kacey. I'm your best friend, you cant stay mad at me."

 We have a stare down until Jayla sighs, she reaches into her Coach shoulder bag and pulls out a king size pack of Kit Kat, my guilty pleasure. She holds them up and waves them in my face, "They're all yours if you forgive me." I stare at her, wondering how long I can keep up my act. She steps closer and pokes my cheeks, forcing my lips up into a smile. "Come on Kay Kay, I know you cant resist."

 Sometimes I really hate the fact that I don't hold grudges. "Fine, I forgive you." I mutter before grabbing the candy out her hand. She beam and sits down on the bed as I tear open the package. "Oh, I didnt win the competition."

 "Yeah I know, its all over twitter." Jayla replies with a scowl. "I really thought we had this though. Some of those designs weren't even all that, I've seen better clothes in a hand me down store."

 I shrug like it doesnt really bother me even though I'm crushed inside. "Any way, how are you and Tray? You seemed pretty close at the party." I really dont want to bring him up but I needed something to distract me from my loathing. Jayla's chocolately complexion seems to glow as a smile spreads across her face.

 "He's iight I guess, aside from his annyoing ass sister. I swear London is a pain in my ass." Jayla growls while reaching for a kit kat. "But I guess we're official now that he's kissed me." My eyes bug out as Jayla gets up off my bed and heads for my laptop.

 It's no surprise that Jayla isnt freaking out about this. She's had more kisses than me, and since Ive never had one then I guess that makes sense. Jayla opens up my laptop and it flickers to my tumblr page. The winners of the contest pop up and she gasps. "Whoa, you know one of the winners is Tray's cousin right?"

 I groan, "Well isnt she a lucky girl. I hope she has fun on tour with MY MAN!" I exclaim, grabbing a pillow and stuffing my face into it.

 Jayla rolls across my floor and over to my bed, taking the pillow off my face. "Hey, I'm going to chill with Tray downtown in about an hour. You should come with me and get out the house, locking yourself in your room while you're sad isnt healthy."

 "Are you still making up to me for what happened at the party?" I ask her. She bats her eye lashes innocently and I laugh. "Fine I'll go. Let me just check instagram first."

 Just then my brother burst into my room, "Hey, I heard the winners of the contest were announced. Did you win?" I shake my head sadly and he frowns. "See, I knew those boys were just some gay band. They dont even recognize real skills when they see it, I worked hard on those drawings."

 "I get it Kyle, now get out." I order, throwing a pillow at him. He sucks his teeth and winks at Jayla before leaving. She grimaces and shuts the door as I walk to my closet and pick out some clothes.

 Once I take my shower and get dressed Jayla and I head out of the house and catch a bus downtown. Maybe the fresh air will do me some good since my hopes have crashed and burned.

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Sorry for errors

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