Struggles of a Fangirl

Struggle #48

I feel tired. Just plain tired of everything. I miss my family, Jayla, my own room. I don't want cameras in my face anymore. All I want to do is lay down with my headphones in, watching episodes of Glee and eating popcorn balls. I want to forget that nnight at the club. Foreget about Princeton and Prodigy spazzing out on me and calling me a fake. Forget about Roc blaming me for the drama and erase London's evil smile from my mind. It's not my fault that two "brothers" like me. No one told them to kiss me. No one told Prince to do behindProds back and try to get me. No one told Prodigy to come on to me when he knew I still had feelings for Prince. I've never been in this situation before and I never want to go through it again.

 Someone gently shakes my shoulder and I open my eyes, tugging the earbud out of my ear. "We're here." The lady next to me tells me. I nod and flash her a thank you smile, not wanting to kill her  with my morning breath. The plane glides down the runway and soon we're finally able to stand up and grab our luggage from over head. After scooting out of the row of seats and grabbing my things from the hold, I follow everyone else down the aisle towards the door where flight attendents are ushering us off. I descend down the few stairs and head into the airport to grab the rest of my things. The inside of the airport is full of people coming and going. Even in the early morning the airport is full to capacity with busy people, pulling along rolling suitcases and thick book bags. I push my way through the crowd and go to the conveyor belt to grab my belongings before walking towards the door where my mom said she would be waiting.

 My eyes scan the area around the doors as I walk, searching for my moms warm smile. For a moment my hopes drop and I start to think she forgot about me coming home early. But then a gap in the crowd gives me a glimpse of my mom, craning her neck and standing on her tippy toes to see me. She frowns before finally looking straight and we lock eyes. Something in me sparks with electricity and before I know it, I'm flying across the floor into her arms. I drop my suitcase and wrap my arms around her waist, squeezing her tightly. I didn't realize how much I missed her until now and now I don't even want to let her go. I miss the smell of her sweet perfume and shea butter lotion. I miss everything about her. She squeezes me back twice as hard and I can't help the tiny lump the forms in my throat as I shut my eyes.

 After a moment, my mother pulls back gently and smiles at me. "I've been waiting for this since you called to tell me you're coming home yesterday." She chuckles, "I"ve missed you so much Kacey."

 "Trust me, I've missed you too. And I promise that I'll focus more in school. You don't have to worry about MB distracting me any longer." I tell her, talking around the lump resting in my throat.

 My mother tilts her head to the side, surprise registering across her face. "Really? I thought you'd be telling me all about Mindless Behavior and your experience. What happened?"

 I blink quickly, refusing to cry again over two boys that could care less about me leaving. I force a smile and shake my head slowly, "You were right all along. Not everyone is who you think they are. I don't regret going on tour with them but I probably wouldn't do it again even if you paid me."

 Now curiosity clouds her face and worried glint appears in my mother's eyes. "Kacey what happened?"

 "I don't wanna talk about it." I say quickly, picking up my suitcase. "Where's daddy and Kyle? I thought they would be here too."

 "They're at home waiting for you."She tell me, taking my suitcase from me. She puts an arm around my shoulder and pulls me close to her while turning us around to walk out the door. Side by side we head to the parking lot in silence, just enjoying the two of us being together again. I have to admit that my spirits have been lifed a little by reuniting with my mom. I'm back in Boston. Back in the area that I'm familiar with, back in my comfort zone. For the entire ride home I tell my mom about the exciting things I did while on tour. I can't wait to plug up my phone and show her all the pictures I've taken, plus develope the ones on my camera. By the way I'm babbling right now you would never think that I had to beg Walter to book me a plane home three days earlier than I was supposed to leave. You'd never guess that I cried in the SUV the entire ride to the airport. I could barely day goodbye to Walter because of how hard I cried. I was a mess emotionally and mentally. Nothing made sense to me and I felt free when the plane finally took off.