Struggles of a Fangirl

Struggle #32

"So guess what?" I ask Prod as he dances around on the tour bus. It's early in the morning and the others are inside the diner eating breakfast. Prod and I decided to take our breakfast to go, preferring it chill in his tour bus for a little while.

 "What?" Prod asks, lifting his eyebrows upwards.

 "I'm getting my braces off soon." I say happily, clapping my hands excitedly and wiggling around in my seat. Prod looks up at me now, his chocolate eyes staring straight at my teeth. Suddenly feeling self concious, I minimize my smile so my bright green braces dont show.

 "But I like your braces, they work for you." He tell me, a sincere look in his eyes. These are the moments I love having with Prodigy. He doesn't say things to make you feel bettr, he says them because he means it from the bottom of his heart. Prod stares at me, his gaze laced with sleep and admiration.

 I scrunch my face up, "I don't really like them. They hurt sometimes and make me talk a little funny."

 Prod rolls his eyes, "Why can't you just take my compliments?" He asks me, just like he has a billion times already. I shrug and look down at my phone in my lap. Sometimes I think Prodigy is just trying to butter me up because I got rejected so bluntly by Prince, other times he's so sweet to me that I can't help but feel like it's all a joke. I've been hanging with him alot lately because honestly, all the other girls are spending every second with their boys. I'm not just gonna sulk around room or be a third wheel. I deserve a little fun too.

 "Stop that," Prod snaps, jerking me away from my thoughts. "You're thinking too hard and thats what gets you in trouble. You over analyze everything. Like your braces...I think they're fine."

 "Well everyone has their own opinion of themselves Prod. I mean lets admit it, I'm not the skinniest girl, I don't have a picture perfect smile and my face is pretty average. People keep telling me to get a make over but I don't want to because then I'd be like every body else." I tell him, surprised that I'm actually confiding in him. I don't even like talking about myself with my own father, why am I being so open to another guy that I've only known for nearly a month and a half now?

 Prodigy is quiet for a second before he takes my chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing me to look into his eyes. "Every little detail makes you unique Kacey. From you're neon braces to you're purple glasses. And dont even get me started on that crazy hair."

 I laugh and run my fingers through my hair as easily as I can. Unfortunately they get kind of tangled and I laugh awkwardly as I struggle to get my fingers out my hair. I try to pull them free but it only ends up hurting my scalp, I hear Prodigy laughing as I make even more of a mess. "Stop laughing!" I say, kicking him in the leg.

 "Sorry sorry, lemme help." He reaches over and tries to help me but I playfully shove him away laughing, "I don't want your help loser. I can handle my own hair." I snap at him, still trying to slip my fingers free from my tangled brown mess. Prodigy reaches over again, "Kacey just let me help you." He insists.

 "No!" I exclaim definatly. Ignoring my refusal he grabs my wrist, tugging gently to get my fingers out. I use my elbow to push him away but he doesn't budge. He chuckles as I tickle his sides, he glances down at me. "I'm not tickilish." He tells me.

 I scoff at him, "Yeah, right. Everyone's ticklish." I proceed to use my free hand to try and find his tickle spot. Without realzing it, I begin running my hands all over his chest and sides, searching for the spot that will make him laugh. Suddenly my hand land accidentally in his lap, right over his crotch. He jumps back like I burned him, so quickly that he slips and falls off the couch. With his hand still grasping my wrist, he pulls both of us onto the floor with a thud. I land clumisly against his chest, my hold body going rigid when I realize our position.

 "Whoa there girl, a little freaky this morning arent we?" He asks, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

 My cheeks ignite, "No! I....I'm sorry I didn't mean..." I try to pull myself off his chest but his arm around my waist keeps me down. I stop fighting his grip and stare down at him, his face is relaxed like nothing happened and this is a casual position. 'Um...Prod?" I say, my voice crackling.

 He grabs my hand, his other arm still around my waist. "You're free," He says, holding up the hand that was tangled in my hair. I smile at this realization and he grins too, "Stay here, this is comfortable." His voice sounds low and sensual like he's in the most relaxing state of mind ever. I suddenly become aware of how fast my heart is beating, how my chest is rising and falling in time with his. He smells like the waffles we just got finished eating...sweet, warm, inviting. He closes his eyes and I stare at his smooth face, relaxed and stress free. He looks so at peace that I find myself wanting to stay here forever.

 Then it hits me. How did this happen? A few days ago I was following after Princeton like a lost puppy...and now the boy that I nicknamed my brother is the one comforting me and making me smile. Making me feel like the old Kacey again. Old Kacey...what was she like again? From my memory she was a quirky 15 year old who didn't try to impress anyone. She didn't mind her tiny muffin top, she wore her studded converse and neon colored leggings. She was a naturally goofy and didn't mind making a fool of herself. Old Kacey didn't let others opinions influence her. She would be whoever she wanted.

 I shudder...what did I do to myself? How could I let London get into my mind like this? I'm supposed to be enjoying my summer but so far it's been pure drama. This isnt what was supposed to happened.

 Before I can dwell too long on my thoughts, the bus door flies open and I hear footsteps and giggles come aboard. Prod's eyes fly open and I yank my head up to find Princeton and London walking in, their eyes locked on the both of us laying on the floor like we just got finished wrestling or rolling around on the floor. My stomach flips as Princeton looks between the both of us, surprise registering across his face. London face is in a frown like she smells something gross.

 "What....is going on?" Princeton asks slowly, his eyes staring straight at me.

 "KACEY WAS TRYING TO GET INTO MY PANTS!" Prod yells loudly. I gasp and slap his arm hard, rolling off him and climbing to my feet. Prince helps Prod up who's laughing at me. I give him a mocking sneer and he laughs and picks up the trash from our breakfast. "I'll go throw these out. Want anything from the diner Kacey?"

 I shake my head no and he shrugs before turning and leaving the tour bus. As soon as he leaves the tension thickens, I shift from side to side, trying to think of something to make things less awkward. London sighs, "It's like a freak fest around here," she sneers, looking me up and down. "I'll be in the back." She pushes past me and heads to the boys bunks even thouh Keisha has a strict rule about us going in eachothers bunks.

 "wow...she's quite a keeper huh?" I ask him sarcastically.

 Princeton blinks at me, stuffing his hands in his pocket before saying something. "So you and Prod...what's going on there?"

 I cross my arms, "Why should I tell you? It's not like you cared what I did before."

 "Come on Kacey, you know I cared before all this drama." Prince says back, "You're my new best friend."

 "Really? Or are you just gonna forget about me when the tour ends?" I asks, sounding like Keisha now. Princeton sighs and blinks, I laready know what he's gonna say but I beat him to it. "Look Prince I know its complicated, so let me make your life easier. You're little angel in there, isnt all shes cracked up to be. But I'm gonna let you figure that our on your own, I have to allow you to make your own mistakes."

 I walk past him towards the door of the bus. "I've wasted my time chasing after you all these weeks." I look him up and down sadly, "And I always learn from my mistakes."

**

Guys I went to see the movie the Mortal Instruments, IT IS SO FREAKING AMAZING, I SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND IT!!!!!!

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