chapter thirty

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chapter thirty

WHILE I WATCHED my cousin, Sarah, say her vows to her fiancé, I expected myself to be jealous or even a little bit mad at myself for being who I am, but I was neither of those things. I was happy, actually, to see two people in love getting married in front of family and friends. There wasn't a moment when I thought: oh, I wish I were straight.

I am okay with marrying a woman in my future, and I'm incredibly happy to come to terms with that fact.

It'll be okay, May's voice echoed through the back of my mind. My heart skipped a beat as I inhaled sharply. It really will be okay. I will be okay, no matter what happens in my future.

Bravely, I slid my right hand out of my lap and onto May's, where we intertwined our fingers without any exchange of words or a glance. I smiled to myself because of the simple gesture.

"I do." Sarah's fiancé, Alexander, smiled so big after announcing two words that his eyes were barely visible. I squeezed May's hand. I felt her look over at me, but I kept my face forward.

"And do you, Sarah James, take Alexander Chapmen to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

I heard a couple of sniffles to my left, so I looked over and found my mom a complete mess. She was crying uncontrollably as she wiped up a few tears with a tissue. I leaned forward and smirked at my dad, who only shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

"I do." I snapped my attention back to the front, still holding May's hand, and smiled at my cousin.

"You may now kiss the bride."

My entire family (plus some of Alexander's family), started hooting and hollering as soon as Alexander grabbed Sarah's face and pressed his lips onto hers. We all laughed, screamed, and cheered them on. May and I hopped out of our seats, along with everyone else, and began clapping.

I smiled over at May and enveloped her hand into mine again. We weren't able to clap anymore, but my heart took my hands' place and did the same effect - fast paced and loud. All because of simple skin to skin contact.

I looked over and admired the left side of my girlfriend's face. She was smiling at the bride and groom, but there was no dimple on the side I was looking at; it was on the right side. She looked so happy, extravagant, and just, well, perfect. She's perfect. My heart fluttered.

     Sarah and Alexander danced down the aisle (yes, danced) as everyone continued to cheer for them. I looked over at my mom and saw that she was smiling again even though her earlier tears stained her cheeks.

     "Hey, mom?" I yelled above the loud crowd. She looked down at me and smiled. "I love you!"

     "Oh, Ashy." She wrapped her arms around me, causing me to let go of May's hand. "I love you, too." I wrapped my arms around my mom's back and closed my eyes.

     We pulled apart rather quickly as I smiled up at the most amazing woman I know. She was the first in my family to accept me and I can't even imagine how much stress she had when her own husband left the house for hours because of me.

     I perched my body forward to look at the man beside my mom. My dad, the one who told me I was a failure to the family and then redeemed himself later, wasn't watching Sarah and Alexander dance away, instead, he was smiling at May and I. I furrowed my eyebrows and cocked my head to the side, but he shooed me away with his hand. "Later." He mouthed to me. I nodded my head, eyebrows still furrowed, before turning back to watch my cousin show off the biggest smile on her face.

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