broken inside ↯frerard

New Beginning

•Frank p.o.v.•

"Amen." both me and Gerard say in unison, looking at the grave we made, that contains my best friend.

I put a rose that I found in these woods on top of it, a tear slipping down my cheek.

Gerard follows suit and puts another rose next to mine, making me smile.

But in seconds, my smile is gone.

Ray is gone.. My best friend, my future.. My everything.. Is gone.

He is gone.

All because of that fucking bastard.

Just because of his style.

Society is cruel.. Really fucking cruel.

My emotions are all over the place right now; anger, hate, sadness, suicidal, and just plain empty.

I try hard not to start crying, looking at his tomb.

There is a big rock at the head of the tomb, and I carved his name, year of his birth, and the year we are in now, the year of his death.

The year I died with him.

Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder.
The touch made me relax immediately for some odd reason.
But I like the feeling.

"Uhm.. We should go." Gerard's soft voice tells me.

I turn around and just nod, making him drop his hand, leaving the spot cold and empty, just like my heart.

The woods are pitch black, but our vision got used to it, making it easier to navigate our way out.

Where am I going to stay now?
What am I going to do now that he is gone?
What's going to happen next?

I have nowhere to go.

In the distance we can see a small lamp post, a sign that we are back in town.

I don't want to go back.

Gerard shuffles down the small hill that we climbed and I just stand still, not wanting to go down there.

What's the point?

"Frank, come on." Gerard waves me to go down, but I am not moving.

I look at him, telling him what's on my mind.

We lock eyes and stay still like that, until I couldn't take it much longer.

I plummet down to the ground on top of the hill and start to cry my eyes out.

Oh how I miss yesterday, how I miss him.

"Why did you have to go!" I screamed into the air, asking him.

It wasn't his fault though.. It was that bastards fault.

I balled my fist and sobbed even louder, screaming.

"FUCKING BASTARD!! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!! YOU KILLED BOTH OF US, WHY?!! FUCK YOU!" I scream over and over again.

Why? Why did he do it..

Oh yeah, cause of how we dress.

I sob and sob and sob until I yell something that has been on my mind since I saw my best friend die.

Something that I want.

"I WANT TO FUCKING DIE!!!"

Hot air surrounds me as I keep crying, grabbing my knees as I rock back and fourth.

What I didn't notice was that there, right next to me, was Gerard.

He was sitting right next to me, considering he was down the hill seconds before my tantrum.

I look at him, and I can see pain in his eyes as well, matching mine.

He crawls towards me and firmly grabs my shoulder, making me stare directly at him.

The feeling of comfort comes back.

"Look, you aren't going to kill yourself Frank." He tells me sternly, making me look away at the grass.

You can only hear my sobs, and nothing else.

"Frank."

I avoid his burning gaze, not wanting to tell him that I would do it.

I don't want to live anymore.

"Frank."

Like I said, I am dead, emotionally.

But I want to die physically too.

"Frank?"

I want to be with him again.

I miss him.. So fucking much..

Gerard grabs my chin and forces eye contact to be made.

Too weak to protest, I look back at him, sniffing some tears away.

"Frank, you can't kill yourself."

I start to cry again.

"No, no Frank, you can't.." I hear him plead me, but what's the point? I'm useless.

Just another rat on the streets.

I cry even harder realizing that I am just another stingy rat on these streets with no future.

Suddenly, a pair of arms are wrapped around me, sending shivers down my back.

I move and turn around to see that it's Gerard's arms.

I look at him, and he is.. Crying?

Why in the hell..

"Frank. I won't let you do that. I won't let you go." Gerard's voice breaks as he tells me this, making me cry even more.

"Don't cry for me, I-I am not worth t-that.." I sob at him, making him look at me.

He looks shocked, like I slapped him or something.

"You are worth more that you give yourself credit for. You are amazing Frank Iero." He wipes his tear away on his shoulder, considering he is holding me.

Both of us lock eye contact again, and I suddenly feel safe.
I feel comfort.

But I am not amazing in any way.

"I'm not amazing.. I'm nothing.." I sniff once more.

"I'm a freak.." I tell him, plucking at the grass.

He lets one arm go and grabs my hand, interlocking our fingers for the first time, and it sends a shock throughout my whole body.
Why would his contact do that..?

I look at him, surprised at the gesture, and he just stares into my eyes.

"Well guess what? We are freaks, together." Gerard smiles at me, and his smile is the most contagious thing ever. I never seen him smile like that. He has small teeth.

"I have nowhere to go.." I tell him honestly.

He squeezes my hand and tells me something that makes my eyes widen.

"You are staying with me Frank. I won't let you go on your own in this cruel world. We will do it together. We will do it for him."

I gaze at him in wonder and amazement.

"For him?" I ask him, making sure that he isn't lying to me.

"For him, For us." He smiles again, making my lips twitch.

We get up and go down the hill that I didn't want to go down moments ago.

Walking away towards the shack, our hands never lose contact.