The Heartbroken Alpha✔

2

❝They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate. It's woven in my soul, I need to let you go.❞

─ Imagine Dragons

I am stronger than this. There is no excuse for me acting like this. I have to be strong not just for me but for the good of my pack. They will not survive with Andrew as their alpha. That brings the faintest of smiles to my lips.

The real question is can they survive with you as their alpha, an alpha which has not even taken full position of her status.

I can if you are by my side.

My wolf makes an animalistic sound that somewhat resembles a chuckle.

Even through the pain a small smile pulls at the corner of my mouth. Somehow I pull myself together, well at least enough, to help me get off the floor and stand on my feet.

I keep my eyes away from the mirror as I pull my shirt over my head and toss it to the floor. Undressing becomes a habit when you become a wolf─ you are always undressing and dressing─ and getting into the shower turning the cold water knob all the way it would go.

The water pulses to life and cascades over my body chilling me to the bone and washing away the sweat from last night and my thoughts drift further and further away from my lost mate. My fingers grab the loofah and I pour the liquid body soap on it. I scrub my entire body as if I was trying to scrub off my skin but I realize that it is not my skin but my mind that remembers his scent.

I take an ice cold shower and washing away the soap my mind controls my body and it moves like a robot with no emotions. Putting on a pair of sweats and a hoodie to keep me warm my eyes cannot avoid the mirror for too long my eyes take in the dark circles around my eyes. They move up my stormy gray eyes look back at me.

You need more rest. My wolf worries about me.

I wish there was a way or even a potion that could make me sleep more but you know that it is hard at the moment.

My long hair is tangled grabbing my comb I brush through my long red hair the bristles rip through my tangle mess. The length frustrates me making me want to chop it off right here but that will not happen. My fierce red hair is one of the few features that my mother passed down so I cherish it. My hand keeps guiding the brush through my hair as I comb out all the knots. Taking one last look in the mirror there is nothing more to do with it so I go with natural straight hair like every other day.
Walking into my bedroom the scent of pancakes makes it way upstairs into my room and to my nose.

Instead of my usual hunger for human food I repress my throat from gagging. Food has not peak my interest in a couple days. My wolf wants to run free into the woods and hunt. I have not let her hunt in the past week and she seems restless with me. She is mad that I make it seem as if I am the only one that lost the love of her life. She has lost her mate, her hunting partner, and her friend. We are both in the same boat and it is getting crowded for my taste.

Let me stretch my legs!

She begs but I ignore her and run down stairs I hear the chatter in the kitchen and living room. That happens when you live with your pack they are around in the most inconvenient times. Releasing a frustrating groan I tiptoe down the rest of the stairs not in the mood to make conversation with anyone at all. Everyone is too into their conversations or they might just not want to bother with an emotional alpha. My escape is easy and brisk as it appears no one notices me.