Previously...
Adams P.O.V:
Tommy just looked at me with determined eyes. Focus, Adam. Just focus on me. Don't say a word.
"His dad is probably gay too." I stare at Tommy's eyes, trying to focus on them. I'm better than this. I'm not going to say anything. As much as I want to, I just stay silent. What good is it gonna do? As much as I wanted to punch Jacob in the throat, I just stared. I didn't want to make our situation worse. We're already outcasts. I don't want to make us troublemakers too.
"Just focus, Adam."
Now...
Tommy's P.O.V:
Adam stared at me with pure rage in his eyes. I can understand why he's getting so angry. I mean, now Jacob and his friends are picking on him, except it's a little more personal. I just hope Adam doesn't lose himself in all this hatred being thrown at him. I know what it feels like to just be thrown hurtful words and to know that people mean them. Its degrading and just plain depressing. I know he will because I did. I lost myself and it's scary. You don't know who you are anymore and as soon as you get yourself back, it's even scarier because you don't remember your old self from all those insults and comebacks clouding your thoughts. Adam is a strong person but when it comes to bullying, nobody can take it well. People who've never been bullied don't know what it feels like. They don't know what its like to feel used for others cruel entertainment purposes. It kills you inside to think about why they chose you specifically. It's torture to hear everyone point out your flaws everyday just because they don't want to have recognition of their own. Then you look at yourself in the mirror and just start to think they're right about flaws you didn't even notice. Some of them don't even exist; you're just imagining it because you've heard it so many times that the image of you with an added irregularity or deficiency just sticks to you. It just hurts to see yourself in such a low place. Then you just start to cry. Then when you try not to cry but you cry anyway is, personally, the worst feeling ever. You feel like you've failed yourself for not being as strong as you think you were. The sad part is that some victims, including myself, have gone to the point where crying isn't a good enough of a release. To the point where sliding a knife across my wrist is bliss, not pain. To where people think taking too many pills, or hanging from a noose, or having themselves at gunpoint is the only way out. You are choked with hatred till it just makes its way into your lungs and you just slowly die painfully in hurt and regret.
"Just focus on me, Adam. Don't listen to them. You're better than them. All you have to do is focus on me." I speak with a low voice to not attract attention to us.
"Dude, it's like a gay person is just a woman in a guys skin. Its kinda sad. Maybe they were just mistakes that God forgot to get rid of. But it's okay because they'll just kill themselves later anyway." I felt my face tint with heat. I keep looking at Adam and got him to focus on me as a distraction to him. I think it's sort of like a distraction for me, too. Because I think that helping someone else just benefits my courage and my will to not give up, know that there's someone else out there that is suffering either the same way I am or worse.
I just have to ignore Jacobs nasty ignorant comments and insults. I have to do this for Adam. He was there for me when I most needed him, now I have to be there for him. I always thought that by being alone, there was a less chance of getting hurt, rejected, and disappointed. But in reality, I was just lonely and had no one to rely on. No one to look up to. No one to inspire me.
Since I was sitting across from Adam, I grabbed his hand from under the table and just held it, tracing small circles with my thumb. It seemed to calm him down enough for him to continue focusing on the class and take notes, ignoring those arrogant and cocky pigs behind him. I figured I would just copy the notes later. "Thanks." He whispers. I shook my head. "You don't have to thank me, Addy. I'm doing this because I care about you and... I know what it's like." He nods, squeezing my hand lightly.
Once our class finished, the bell rung, signaling us to get the fuck out of there. Adam and I drove aimlessly, not wanting to go home just yet. He then stopped by the side of the road and took out a blue bandana with white designs.
"Put this on." He demands gently. I narrow my eyes a bit and gave a sly smile when I earned a grin upon his lips. "Why?" I asked, reluctantly taking the bandana. "Its a surprise."
"Okay, I see." I joked, having trouble putting on the bandana. He giggled, grabbing it from my hands. I turned my body to face the window as he places the blindfold over my eyes, blinding me from the already dark and empty world.
He continued driving to God knows where. We finally halted to another stop, the smell of grass and saltwater hitting my nostrils, the air tasted of fresh raindrops even though it isn't raining. "We're here but don't take off the blindfold yet." He gets out of the car, leaving me alone for a second.
The chilly wind blows over my pale skin when Adam opens the car door, taking my hands and leading me. "Watch your step."
He finally let go of my hands and I felt his presence in front of me. "I'm gonna take it off now, okay?" I nod, wondering what I was going to see.
It was breathtaking. The sky was the color of cotton candy; blue, pink, and red. The buildings afar were pitch black, a shadow in the distance. On my left was an ocean, crystal blue water shining against the sun. On my right, a forest with big trees, leafs glistening from condensed water. "Adam, this is beautiful."
"Like you." I smile and feel the heat rise up my neck and to my cheeks. "What is this place?" He smiled. "My parents took me here on my 16th birthday. I've been coming here ever since and I wanted to bring someone special to share it with." He grins at me, flashing his pearly whites.
I grabbed his waist with my small hands and pulled him close, kissing him while hearing the sound of crashing waves and the wind blowing through my ears. No moment could ever be more perfect.
