I'm Just Septic-Eyed

Chapter 4: Hands to Hold

A/N: The ending last chapter didn't go as I expected it to. We were following directions then got distracted by the feels forest and decided to take a visit.

Sean didn't know how long he sat there shaking, crying, and trying his best to breathe. Everything that happened since he got out of class kept repeating over and over and over. He felt like a total jerk. There was no reason for him to say those things to Mark. Being blind didn't bother him much, really. Or did it? He was born blind - there's nothing else he knows. Yet why did he say those things? Not seeing was perfectly fine. Then why did he often wish he could? Sean let out a loud sob, but he quickly covered his mouth.

Being blind was OK being blind was OK, being blind was OK... Sean continued to repeat that to himself. He believed that all his life. Why was now different? Sean took in a deep breath and let it out shakily. He should apologize to Mark.

But he couldn't. His body was shaking so bad he could hardly move, but he heard something that told him he wouldn't have to. Floorboards groaned and Mark gasped. "J-Jack?" Mark knelt in front of his friend. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"I-I think I m-might be h-having a panic attack." Sean certainly wasn't an expert on this so he didn't know if that's what this was. It seems like it started when they got home and Mark continued to be silent.

"Just listen to me, alright? Just focus on my words. Can you handle that?"

Sean nodded. Listening was kind of his forte.

"Okay. It's no big deal, right? You can do this. Breath with me, alright? Just simple deep breaths. It's easy, you can do it." Mark and Sean began breathing together. Mark's breaths being calm while Sean's were hitched from his crying. "You're doing great, bud. Now I'm gonna need you to write something. It can be easy. Maybe the alphabet or the same word." Mark but his hand palm up on Sean's knee. He tried his best to ignore how badly his friend was shaking.

Sean brought his finger to Mark's palm and began the alphabet. "Just keep breathing," Mark's voice was smooth. It was rather relaxing. "Good job, Jack. You can do this." It went on like this for a while; Mark saying calming words and getting Sean to focus on breathing and the braille he was writing.

Eventually Sean's panic ceased yet he still shook a bit. "You did great, buddy." Sean could hear the smile in Mark's voice. Sean gave an uneasy smile of his own. The question of why he had a panic attack left both their minds at the moment. They were just glad it was over. "I just started up Firewatch, you wanna watch - er - listen?"

Sean's smile turned into a grin. "I'd love to."

Mark had to help Sean walk to the living room since his legs were still a bit wobbly. But once they got there Mark picked up the game where he had left off previously. From what Sean could tell, it was a game about the forest. He heard the crunch of dirt and wind blowing. He listened to Mark's commentary on it as well as what the characters were saying to progress the story. It was a nice sounding game.

Perhaps hours passed; Mark wasn't paying all that much attention to time. What he did notice was Sean's head in his lap. Mark paused the game in the middle of Henry speaking. He looked down at Sean and saw him fast asleep. Mark felt his lips tug up. Might as well keep playing for a little while more. It's not as if Sean was going anywhere.

A/N: It's a bit short, sorry about that. I just wanted to get the panic attack out of the way to clear up any confusion and to not leave it off with him crying in the bathroom alone. It totally wasn't my intention to make Jack have one. It just kinda happened. I also may or may not have had a panic attack before. I was at a football game (I'm in marching band so it's not like I actively went to one) and a senior in my section brought up the fact that I had a book report due so I started freaking out a bit cuz I hadn't finished the book and it was due Monday. I started hyperventilating and it got super hot (being crowded around over 100 band members in a hot band uniform didn't help much) I was shaking really badly and I almost passed out. Anyway, story over. I'll see you all in the next chapter!