Watched Over

Chapter 1: Twilight Sky

Time crawled slowly after my beloved mother committed suicide, just before my fourth birthday crept around the corner. That was the first dull celebration I had, no cake, no decorations, no presents, not even a word from my father, Tyler. Every time our eyes catch each other, his cobalt blue eyes pierce mine, gradually increasing a suspicious nerve in my brain. This is the only way he has ever looked at me.

I can't say I haven't imagined having another father, one that doesn't bruise me by hitting me vigorously or doesn't make me cry until there are no tears to shed while touching me inappropriately.

A tear trickles down my cheek while I gradually open my eyes squinting at the sudden contact with the sun's light streaming abruptly through the blinds. As my tired eyes adjust I erase the evidence from my damp face, repetitively swiping my fingers across my bruised cheek bone. I whimper at the abundance of pain.

My thoughts fade away once I hear Tyler making a ruckus in the rusty kitchen fridge. If I stay quiet in bed for long enough, Tyler might not come in and damage my fragile body once again. I wait patiently, leaning on my sweaty palms, pretending to sleep but there is no point, I can already hear his heavy feet collide against the wooden floor boards. I cringe once I feel his devilish eyes burn through the back of my scalp. Please, for once, close the door and leave for work. Who am I kidding? That was never an option, I strongly hoped it would eventually be a possibility.

I feel the mattress spring as he sits quietly beside me. Don't open your eyes, Lily. Just keep on praying that he goes away, but he places his hand on my shoulder making me want to flinch at what is yet to come. Tyler grazes his hand across my face, analysing my features. He sighs with remorse, "Why did she have to look so much like you?" Once he leaves the room I realise that he wasn't intending to wake me up at all which is never the case but instead wanted to talk to my mother. Somehow. In someway.

I don't want to, but I have to admit that I don't remember my mother, I can only remember her tortured screams vibrating from the room next to mine. Somehow I think my father has eliminated her from my brain. Maybe if we talked about her, my memory might grasp onto a tether of imagery, but after my mother died my father became extremely aggressive, deceitful and inconsiderate towards me.

•

Our English apartment is located in Painswick and surprisingly it is quite a sunny day for a Saturday. Eager to leave the unpleasant apartment, I crawl out of bed quickly, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I scan my face. "I look like her?" I question with thrill, while the tips of my fingers skim over my features.

•

I rush outside impatiently, as I kick rocks off the never-ending side walk. My eyes meet Mary's as I approach her at the local park. Her chocolate brown hair drops around her face perfectly, while she wears a worried look on her face. "What's wrong?" I question her with concern.

"I should be asking you the same thing, Lily. Why don't you do anything about your father? This is getting out of hand. Bruises are distributed across your body, even your face, Lily! Why didn't you put a bit of makeup on to cover up your injuries? And you're scaring me with those bags under your eyes!" Mary yells, examining my cheek. 

"Stop bombarding me with all of these questions! Mary, what can I possibly do about him?" I reply, whispering, annoyed.

"Tell someone other than me, Lily! maybe someone older who can help you," Mary suggests, crossing her arms, tapping her foot rapidly against the ground and looking at me as if I am stupid.

"The only adult I know is my father!" I state sharply.

"I don't want to be fighting, Lily, when we have a limited amount of time. If your father finds out that we've been meeting up every afternoon by you arriving home late, who knows what he is going to do with you? Can you at least tell me why you have bags under your eyes?" Mary asks softly.

"It's nothing," I say sharply.

"Lily, I know your lying!" Mary's eyes collide with mine, as I try to make up an answer to her question that would be somewhat believable.

"Every night I sneak out of the house after Tyler goes to bed because I want to get away from him," I hesitate.

"Where do you go? What do you do?" Mary asks concerned.

"It doesn't matter, anywhere just to get away from that freak," I reply. Some guilt shivers down my spine. I cannot even tell my best friend that I sneak out late at night to get away from my father, but also to read my mothers suicide note, hidden once in my room, for my eyes only to see. Of a night I walk to a garden down the street and retrieve my mothers note from under a pile of rocks.

I read it repetitively, analysing every word, 'Honey, I hope you know that I love you and I cannot express the amount of guilt I feel for doing this to you. I am not leaving this world because of you. I am leaving because my life is already over. Do not forget that I will always be with you. Don't show this to anyone, not even Daddy, Lily. This note is just for you and I. Love you dearly, from your mother.' I cradle it close to my chest, breathing heavily while watching the shimmering stars scatter across the dark twilight sky. There is not one night that I do not cry, all of my emotions are built up at the end of the day, I eventually have to let them out and I love that I have a place to go to sob because I find crying very embarrassing and shameful.

Mary changes the subject to boys and I am not interested. If the man in my future is anything like Tyler I'm not in a rush to meet him.

•••
Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, more coming soon I promise.

If you liked this chapter, please consider giving it a vote.

Please don't forget about commenting or sharing either.