Watched Over

Chapter 10: An Unwanted Crush

A cloud of silence hovers over us, while we stare into each other's eyes. Caleb gently touches the side of my face with his warm hand, trailing his fingers across my skin and pushing my hair behind my ear. Attempting to grab his hand in disapproval, he frowns making me pause in hesitation. I stand there unsure of what to do with myself, I'm so uncomfortable and this is so awkward. His eyes dart at every feature of my face in admiration and I realise that Caleb is enjoying this moment way to much. I tilt my head to the side, glaring at him, wondering if he can take a hint, but he just stares at me. Butterflies gradually flutter frantically through my stomach, wanting to burst through my body. I cough, trying to break his concentration and hopefully distract him, but nothing. Not even a budge of concern for my health, I grab his arm, sliding his hand from my face.
"Caleb, you have to stop, we're still just friends. Nothing more," I remind him clearly, he snatches his eyes off my face and finally reacts. Rolling his eyes and pouting. "Caleb stop doing this to me, I don't have the time. You said that you'd be my friend."

He steps closer to me, our body's nearly touch, "I will always be your friend, Lily, but I'd like to be something more eventually," he holds my arms, informing me.

It's getting harder to breath by the second and I don't think I can handle the pressure. "You can't ask me to do that," I snatch my arms away from his control and quickly exit, walking in the other direction back to class. I hear him following me, but he isn't running after me because he obviously doesn't want to scare me away.

"Please Lily, tell me, what did I ever do to you to make you hate me so much?" I freeze, I feel like such a bitch. I never intended to make Caleb think I hated him, this has gone way to far. I turn around, stepping closer and closer to Caleb, trying to find the appropriate words.

"You've done nothing and I've never hated you," I state.

"Then why aren't you giving me a chance?" Caleb asks, the tone of his voice is extremely deep and serious. His eyebrows tie together, trying to cover the sadness in his shimmering eyes.

"It's complicated," I say, wondering what he would think if I told him about my father and our encounters. I'm not pure, I'm ruined and Caleb would never look at me the same way again.

"It's complicated?," he asks with frustration."Try me," When he crosses his arms and clenches that sharp jaw, it distracts me from being normal and having a civilised conversation with him. All I can ask myself is; Why is he talking to me? out of all the girls in the world, why am I, Lily Arrington, getting this kind of attention from a guy who is extremely irritatingly good looking? aaargggghh! Lily, snap back to bloody reality and stop embarrassing yourself by drooling over his cuteness.

"That's the thing Caleb, you'll never understand, you shouldn't even want to be associated with me. I'm to messed up for you!" I announce, storming off because of the sudden tears forming through my worn out eyes. I definitely don't want him to see me like this, crying and making a fool of myself. I can be so dramatic, so emotional at times, but this is overwhelming, it's to hard to handle. I do picture a future with Caleb, it's just not realistic because of my twisted past, it's a dream. I feel different around him, I get all nervous and awkward. I know now that I'm developing an unwanted crush on this dazzling boy, but I can't think about him anymore in that type of way because I'm not ready for that commitment. Caleb might be an angel, he might be different compared to all the others, but I'm not yet sure of what he's capable of.

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I find myself sitting silently down in class, ruby by my side, aching to have a conversation with me once I'm ready. I don't plan on confronting her about the situation because I shouldn't have even been there. I eavesdropped on there private conversation and I got caught red handed. I know that it will only be a matter of time until she confronts me instead. Miss finally figures the laptop out after a student insists on taking things into their own hands and as the lesson progresses Ruby slides closer to me. As I copy the words on the board into my large textbook, I notice someone whispering, warm air brushes my ear.

"You followed me and I don't blame you, it's fine being a bit curious at times. It's a relief to find out that the boy you fancy isn't a phoney, isn't it?" she asks.

"It's a relief to know that my friend isn't a phoney," I reply, rephrasing a particular word.

"I know the way you look at him and that 'friend' of yours is quite a charm. Were basically brother and sister, we've known each other forever. I'd do anything for him and he'd do anything for me. To be honest with you, Lily, he is different," she rambles on about Caleb, but I can't yet soak in what she says after that, because my mind latches onto that peculiar information she just placed forward. She said 'he is different', but that could mean many things.

"What do you mean he's different?" I ask, interrupting her. She takes her time inhaling and exhaling, as she looks for an answer. Taping her chin and biting her lip, a spark of guidance hits her, making her pour out an abundance of words.

"When you compare majority of the other guys that populate this school to Caleb, those other guys are total fuckboys. I've never met anyone like Caleb, he's usually really confident in himself, but when he's around you or at least talking about you he gets nervous, his face lights up, his cheeks change colour and he cannot control his obvious feelings for you. I don't know if he wants everything to be perfect or if your such an amazing girl that he doesn't want to ruin anything with you. To be honest, I've never seen him so caught up with a girl like this before, he must really like you. Do you know why he likes you so much?" she asks concerned.

"Don't ask me, I have no idea. Some part of me wishes that he wouldn't feel anything for me, It's hard to explain why, all I can say is that it's complicated and i'm not open to that kind of relationship yet," I honestly answer.

Her grin grows by the second, making me extremely confused. "just some part of you wishes that he wouldn't feel anything? does that mean you actually like him?" she squeals, listening intently to what I have to say next.

"No, not at all. I meant to say that I wish he didn't feel anything for me..." I realise that I am not extremely convincing, as I stutter with my words constantly.

Her face tumbles with confusion, "Lily, you can trust me. You can tell me anything, i actually really want to be your friend," she assures me by placing her hand on top of mine and nodding her head repetitively. Could I really trust this girl with such personal information? could I tell this girl everything? Obviously not, she's Caleb's best friend.

"I would definitely like to be your friend Ruby," I reply sharply, before she could say anything else to convince me to admit everything, the bell rings. Dismissing the whole class and everyone rushing out like a stampede. Ruby was out of sight and all of a sudden I find myself exiting the building into the park, right across from the school. My eyes spot Caleb, sitting on a wooden park bench and something tickles my throat. How can a guy have such an effect on a girl like me?

His eyes catch mine, yearning for me to approach him. I roll my eyes at him and he smirks in response, making me giggle quietly to myself. Lily, stop torturing yourself, you know you can never have him. I start to stride out of the school grounds, towards my house and of course I feel a sudden presence lurking behind me.

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Author's Note: I apologise for not posting in a while, things have been super hectic. Happy Easter!
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