Watched Over

Chapter 26: Bonfire

My eyes averted from the figure straight away, my reaction was uncanny. Surely it couldn't be Tyler. I wasn't trying to get myself worked up because his back was facing towards me.

I try to compose myself as my lungs expand, before a shivering exhale. My eyes clench, forcing the pounding in my head to go away and compressing the growing ache forming due to my rush of thoughts.

My eyelashes unglue from there clasp and my vision struggles to regather. All I can see is darkness and for a moment I panic.

I look franticly around, as if he was to pounce from any direction. He could grab a hold of me and drag me off the train if he really wanted to. My snip it anxiety attack comes to a close as I spot him sitting down a few seats away from me...

I have no idea if he saw me or if he even followed me onto this very train, but all I know is that I have time to execute a casual evacuation.

As our next stop approaches I decide to restrain myself from shaking and calmly leave my seat to get to the sliding doors right next to me. As I wait for the doors to finally open, I cannot stop the temptation of looking over my shoulder to see if I had succeeded.

My eyes waver at the sight of him, and as I grind my teeth I triumphantly turn around, finally leaving. I notice that I'm pale through the mirrors that view an unnoticeable shocked version of me. I begin to feel queasy from the rush and my heart thumps with a weight like no other, but I cannot stay here, in sight, where he could possibly find me.

•

"Lily! Where have you been?" Natalie asks, stomping towards me.

"I arrived a while ago..." I trail off searching for Caleb in hope that he's here; at least safe.

"Why didn't you come to look for me a while ago?" Natalie asks, obviously feeling neglected by everyone.

"Well, I was looking for someone else."

Her eyes follow my search, "Caleb isn't here, I thought he was coming with you..." she crosses her arms, raising an eyebrow.

"I thought he would end up coming with me also, but I haven't seen him all day." I lower my head, blinking, trying to figure out where he'd be. Where he'd go.

"Well you came here for a reason, to have fun!"

"No, I came here to see if he was already here... somehow," I apply pressure to my temples in frustration.

"Why are you so sour? you'll find him eventually," she assures me with absolute confidence.

My body jolts, "He could be in danger!", This is all my fault. Tyler probably has him right now, trying to find me. If I don't come back to Tyler he might threaten to hurt Caleb. I take a deep breath from the unnecessary freak out. I hope that isn't true, anything but...

"What sort of danger? you're getting upset for no reason Lily..." Natalie's eyebrows tangle.

"He just disappeared, I can't pretend that everything's alright. I'm trying to calm down, but I just can't find the capability," tears stream down my trembling cheeks.

"If he has him.." I whisper, glancing at the ground.

"If who has him?" Natalie asks. Lifting my head straight away, I mentally scold myself. How can I just let something like that slip out. It's so clumsy of me, to clumsy of me.

"No one, I was just gibbering..." I'm officially insane. "I'm sorry Natalie, I'm just really emotional right now, a lot has happened today."

"Good, because we're here to relax and party. Not start a search party..." placing a hand on my shoulder she exhales loudly. "Lets just wait and see what happens, you're probably just over exaggerating. You have no idea, he might be safe at home," she forces a smile, acknowledging my stress.

Cars pull up onto the beach and every single vehicle makes my breath hitch in anticipation to see him, to know that he's alright. As we sit on the gigantic logs crowded around the bonfire Natalie tries to distract me from the temptation of looking over in concern from the noises behind us that make contact with the ground, but I can't pretend. I just can't.
I'm beginning to grow feelings that I've felt before, before this town, memories of Tyler, and the frightening aspect of letting him take over my mind again. I feel like my entire body was taken away from me back then, with the exception of the bloody bruises, and then my body was given back to me; Hit with the abundance of emotions and torment.

I couldn't play his game again, I would refuse to be the slave at his own hands, but he knows that. All he has to do is threaten to torture another that I love.

I'd crumble.

My heart would eternally wrench, because I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that someone else is going through the exact same pain I did, in that God for saken prison. I believe i'm trying to say that I wouldn't watch over like my mother did...

I use to pray, hoping that she was watching over me, but not the way she actually did. Some part of me regrets praying because she wasn't even listening.

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Author's Note:
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