Watched Over

Chapter 6: An Endless Argument

"What did you do after leaving us?" I ask my mother.

"I was watching over you, the whole time. Once you ran away to come to town, I was lucky that I had another house here set up for work" she answered. "I didn't leave you, I left him," she adds.

"No, you left both of us, that's just how it is. You chose to leave a maniac of a man and I understand that, but you also left your innocent daughter behind to cope with that maniac of a man. She had to live with that lunatic and cop the rest of the shit by herself because her mother left her behind," I announce, raising my voice.

I can't get over the fact that, that's not even the worst of it, she watched me suffer for sixteen years under house arrest with my own rapist of a father and didn't even do one thing about it.

"How did you know that he wasn't going to kill me?" I ask.

"Lily, I was not a hundred percentage sure if he would kill you or not, but that's why I watched over you, Just incase anything went wrong," she explained.

"Plenty went wrong, why didn't you come to help me?, I needed a mother! I needed a shoulder to cry on. I don't give a damn if you were watching over me or not, what I care about is that you apparently just stood there watching me suffer. Couldn't you have called the cops or something?," I ask, enraged. "Tell me why you were just standing there, not taking action." I yell this time.

The only way I can stop my tears from falling, is going in the complete other direction. Instead of being an endless, flowing, human tap of water, I chose to push the emotions of my broken heart away and channel my emotions towards my anger.

"Honey," she starts, snapping me out of my daze. "He lost me and didn't want to lose you, I believe he did all of those things to you because you look like me. I stood back watching because I knew he couldn't bare having us both dead. He wouldn't have been able to trap anyone else, but somehow he trapped me and then trapped you." she explains, effortlessly.

I get up from the couch and start pacing back and forth around the room. "You pushed me into that trap though, and are you saying that I got molested because I look like you?" I ask, as my body over heats.

She holds her arm out, signalling me to sit down, but I can't, not until I get an answer. She puffs, giving up on trying to tell me what to do and I cross my arms waiting for her.

"I don't know! I am just telling you that could of been why. Even if you looked a bit different, you could of still gotten hurt!" she rambles on.

"Of course, he would of done the same things to me no matter what, that's his nature, that's the kind of man he is, but because I look like you he went even further. Forgetting that it was me and pretending that it was you!" I start to huff in anger, not able to breath, this is really messed up. I exit the unit and run down the steep stairs, sitting on the edge of the rail inside, looking at the front door next to me, trying to focus on catching my breath.

I hear a door from upstairs open and then close,"I just need some time by myself!" I announce, huffing.

"Take all the time you need, I'm sorry for interrupting," a boy says with an American accent, I pull my head up to see his face and there he stands right in front of me. "I better let you be, new girl," He says, blinking with his big hazel eyes.

"No it's ok, I thought you were someone else" I say, bluntly.

He combs his brown hair back with his fingers, "I actually came down to sit on the railing, you don't mind if I sit here do you?" He asks, while jumping up on the other rail across from me. He keeps on staring at me, so i look away, and close my legs, holding them together as tight as possible and pretending to observe the building because I was getting uncomfortable. "Are you ok?" He asks, and I sigh at the unfamiliar question.