The Invitation

43 ~ Never the Right Time

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
If I die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take,
    Amen.

The prayer I said many times with Mama Deb as I grew from a child to an adult. I repeated it over and over in my head as my grandmother was lowered into the ground. I saw myself as a child on my knees with Mama Deb on the side of the bed as we prayed for strength, guidance and understanding.

"Mama Deb when I die will I go to heaven?"

"As long as you live right, love and appreciate God's gifts and blessings that he bestows on us and keep His word, then I believe my child, He has a special place for you."

"Will we be in Heaven together? What happens if you die before me, how can I find you?"

"Tutu, one day there will come a time when Jesus calls us all home. I promise you, I will always be here." She pointed to my heart. "When you close your eyes real tight and see the fireflies dancing around, then you will see me."

"Who will take care of me?"

"Baby you will get older and your handsome prince will come in, sweep you off your feet and you are going to live happily ever after."

Sara stood on the side of me. She tossed her white daisies on top while I placed mine next. Seeing that coffin being lowered and lowered I felt numb. My feet held me confined where I stood.

The minister said,
"For as much as it has pleased our Almighty God to take out of this world the soul of Sister Debra Mae Lewis we therefore commit her body to the ground. Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, looking for that blessed hope when the Lord Himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God, and the dead in Christ shall rise first. Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so shall we ever be with the Lord, wherefore comfort ye one another with these words."

Sara held on to my hand. I squeezed it tightly.

"We will be okay, right?"

"I hope so," I responded.

"Victoria and Sara if there is anything I can do, you just ask?" Pastor said giving us both a hug. The congregation paid their respects and left.

"Everything is set up at the church," Daniel said coming to stand by Sara.

"Can we have a few more minutes?" she asked. He nodded and stood back next to Alexander and Dean.

Sara and I stood in silence. Her tears rolled down her face with the water stopping at the rim of her Chanel sunshades. The workers stood there waiting to start covering the coffin. They held their hats across their chest paying their respects.

"Can you go to the repass? I'm just not in the mood."

"Okay."

She walked away. Alexander walked up to me and put his arm around my waist. He just stood there. I felt safe.

"I'm ready."

He led me towards the car. He opened the door and I got in. He began to drive away but not before he held my hand. We arrived at my house. Connie was there with Mia.