Impossible to Foretell

Chapter 5: Doctor Hatake

I stepped in the Hokage's office, and Kakashi lifted his eyes up to me slowly.

"Kaiyo, what the hell are you doing here today? I gave you the day off for a reason..."

I plopped my report on his desk and glared right into his steel-grey eyes, "And do you think that I would be happier if I spent the whole day stewing in my misery? Nothing cheers me up like being useful."

Kakashi took the report from his desk with a sigh, "No, nothing cheers you up like trying to suppress your emotions. You realize that you can't bottle everything up forever, right? You should let some of it go yourself before it breakouts of its own accord."

"Thank you, Doctor Hatake, I'll be sure to drop by the next time that I need a therapist."

"It was just some friendly advice."

I spun my wedding ring around my finger, "Hey, Kakashi, do you remember Kanaye?"

His eyes widened in confusion for a moment at the total change of subject. "Yeah. He was that creep that always hung around your mom, right?"

I nodded, "For some reason I've been remembering him a lot lately. It's gotten to the point where I can't remember my dad without thinking about him too."

Kakashi tilted his head in confusion, "Why would that be?"

I sat down in the chair in front of his desk. Despite my sarcastic comments about Kakashi being my therapist, he was always the person that I knew I could talk to. Turns out that not hating him had its benefits; he had become a pretty great friend over the last year. "Did you ever find it odd just how much time Kanaye spent at my house whenever Dad was out on a mission?"

"No."

"Well, neither did I. But I was young and naïve and now when I think about it, it's so clear that it's painful. Do you remember how mad Sakumo got when I told him that Kanaye was staying at my house that one time? And now whenever I think of my dad, I can only see Kanaye's slimy face sneaking in and taking my dad's place."

Kakashi froze for a second as he put two and two together, "You don't think that he and your mother... Oh my god, I can't believe that I never realized it."

"Yep. And he was at my house the night that my dad died, this night twenty-eight years ago."

"Kaiyo-"

"I just hate it so much. I hate that all I can see is his stupid face when I want to mourn my dad. You know, I have to look at a picture to remember what Dad's face looked like now. How sad is that? But I can picture Kanaye with ease, and I don't have anything to remind me of his face. It haunts my dreams, it haunts my thoughts, and oh my god do I hate that sick bastard."

Kakashi sighed, "I don't know Kaiyo, maybe you should get a real therapist; I'm not cut out for this sort of thing. I really shouldn't give people advice on how to move on from their past."

I stood up to leave, "I'm sorry, I just needed to vent. Well, I'd better be going now. Please read over that report when you get a chance."

Kakashi stood up too and showed me to the door, "It's fine. I'm only too happy to listen. Just let me know if you need anything more... I know how painful anniversaries can be."

I waved and left, "Sure, I guess. Goodbye."

I left and mentally cursed myself. Kakashi has this ability to get me to start spilling my guts whenever he's around. It's like I can't help but tell him about whatever's bothering me, and I hate it. I really don't like feeling weak.

I hobbled back to my office, muttering profanities at my hip the entire time and wondering why literally nothing in life seems to go my way.