Chapter 12

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(No Control | Holding Me Ransom - 12 - You Suddenly Want Me)

I can tell by the intensity of her kiss that she wants me. Her hands are scrunching my shirt at my hips, pulling my body closer to hers, and I gladly oblige. I press my erection against her again, silently willing her to touch me.

When she doesn't, I let my hand fall to the hemline of her dress where I curl my fingers around the back of her thigh and pull her leg up so it rests against my waist. I pull back from her, just for a moment, searching her face for confirmation that this is OK, that I'm not crossing a line. The look on her face is one of pure hunger and lust; it's a green light.

I kiss her again, harder and rougher, and I feel her fumbling with the button on my jeans, attempting to open them. She manages to pop the button and then pulls on the zip and peels them down my thighs. I'm throbbing at the thought of her touch, and then I feel her curl her fingers around me through my underwear. I voice my approval.

"Fuck."

I lift up her dress, aware this isn't very classy, and not my usual style, but I can't let myself show any emotion towards this. I can't let her inside my head.

She pulls my boxers down a few inches, freeing me, and then begins to stroke her hand up and down. I let out a harsh breath as pleasure courses through me, and I push my fingers between her legs, gasping at how wet she is for me. She whimpers softly and it spurs me on; I slip my finger inside her and press my thumb against her, drawing another moan from her lips. Her legs shake and her hand begins to move faster, up and down.

I lean forward and kiss her again, adding a second finger and she cries out softly, her legs trembling slightly. She gasps again, and suddenly I'm confused. Her hand has slowed a bit - has she come? I thought I would have felt it from inside her, but now I'm not so sure. I don't want to carry on if it will make her uncomfortable.

I break the kiss and pull back to look at her. Maybe I can tell from her face.

She opens her eyes and looks at me.

"Did you... have you just...," I begin, but she just stares me. "Did you come?" I ask, stupidly, and to my horror she gives a derisive laugh.

"No! For fucķ's sake, Harry. You're good, but you're not that good."

I feel uncomfortably hot all over, as embarrassment prickles through me.

Why the fucķ did I ask that? This here, right now, has to be one of the most humiliating moments of my life.

"Oh- sorry... sorry..," I stammer. "I just.. I thought you had..."

Stop. Talking. Now.

I swallow, my face burning, but she stares down at floor.

"No," she mumbles.

I need to recover this.

Kiss her.

I'll kiss her.

OK, here goes.

I lean forward again and press my mouth to hers, a little more softly this time.

Big mistake.

The tenderness sends a stab of longing to the pit of my stomach, and I find myself fighting a wave of emotion. She's kissing me back, and I move my hips forward, the tip of my erection now pressing against her, where she is warm and wet.

I stop, remembering the comment she made in Karen's office about not knowing who else I was sleeping with. Will she want to use protection? She won't still be taking the contraceptive pill, so we definitely should, to be safe.

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