Trace of Innocence | Sweet and Sour (Book 4)

Chapter 93

(No Control | Holding Me Ransom - 93 - Point Of No Return) 

The volume of the party seems to have risen in the few seconds since Callie walked out. I turn to Jess. She looks lost. 

"Jess?" I begin gently. "Baby? Are you OK? Are we OK?"

She shakes her head, muttering a couple of indistinct words so I take her arm and lead her to the sofa under the back of the stairs where we had sat last time and let her take a few moments to clear her thoughts. 

"You should have told me," she says finally. "You shouldn't have kept this from me."

"I did it to protect you," I murmur. "And a little part of me was afraid she would turn you against me if I put a foot wrong."

"Do you really think my feelings for you are that easily influenced?" She stares into my eyes. "Surely the past year has proved where my loyalties lie." 

I don't want to inflame the sitution so I choose my words carefully and speak in a soft tone. 

"Yes... but you also chose to look after Callie over New Year, when you knew how much I wanted you to come away with me. You are fiercely loyal to everyone you love, Jess. I would never presume that was exclusive to me." She considers this for a moment. "Callie was right about one thing: she has been there for you through thick and thin," I point out. "As much as I disliked her for how she was behaving towards me, she was still doing it out of concern for you; albeit a sick and twisted interpretation."

I watch as Jess covers her face with her hands. I can't believe this has all come to a head tonight, of all nights. 

"I'm sorry if you feel I've betrayed you too," I mutter. "I honestly didn't know what to do for the best. I didn't want you to fall out with Callie over me. She's your best friend, and I didn't want you to lose her. But I was also afraid of losing you myself. And in the end, she realised she had been a living nightmare. She gave me all your stuff, retrieved your pictures from your icloud, helped get you here tonight, and tipped me off when she realised you were planning a surprise for me, so that my surprise for you wasn't ruined."

"Yet she managed to ruin tonight anyway," Jess laughs shortly.

"Yeah, well. I did try to stop her from shooting her mouth off, but she wasn't to be silenced. I won't deny I'm pretty pissed off about her timing."

"Would you have ever told me, if she hadn't?" 

She probably isn't going to like my answer but I have to tell the truth. 

"Honestly? Probably not unless she'd started playing games again, or holding me to ransom. In which case yes, I would have told you everything myself. I was wary of her at first, when she started helping me. But I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, and in the end she came clean herself. I suspect her own guilt was eating away at her."

"I'm so, so sorry for what she put you through," Jess sighs wearily. "You didn't deserve any of that. She had no right to control you the way she did, and I can't believe you went along with it for so long."

"I wanted to do this for you." I gesture around the room. "The more she made me work for it, the more determined I became. I wasn't trying to be underhand in keeping it from you. I was doing it with the best intentions."

"I know," she nods, and as I smile at her she leans into my embrace, her arms sliding around my neck.

"I'm sorry," I apologise again. "I'm sorry for not telling you, and I'm sorry for taking my frustrations out on you at times, when it all got on top of me. And I'm sorry that our anniversary was spoilt by all of this."