Chapter 35

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(No Control | Holding Me Ransom - 35 - Down By The River)

I'm awake at nine the following morning, and distract myself for an hour by catching up on social media, reading mentions and comments. I risk a look at the pictures of Jess in my car from yesterday - there are only two, and they are poor quality. A few people have worked out it is her, but most are still wondering who I'm with, and why. It's tempting to reply None of your fucking business, but I resist.

I'm getting restless by ten o'clock, and call Jess at five past. I've no idea how she will react to me this morning. She was drunk and emotional yesterday. I'm fully prepared for her wrath again now she's slept on it.

"Hello?" she answers. She sounds like death.

"Hi. It's me."

"Hi," she replies, somewhat unenthusiastically. My heart sinks.

"How are you?" I ask.

"Dead."

I can't help chuckling.

"Oh dear."

 "What time is it?" she croaks.

"Just after ten," I reply, looking at the clock even though I know the time. "Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah."

Oh, fuck. Why am I always doing everything wrong?

"Sorry," I apologise. 

"No it's fine - I shouldn't sleep in too late or I won't be able to get to sleep tonight."

Should I ask if she wants to meet up?

"You said you weren't in work today...?" I begin.

"No, I'd booked the day off."

"Well that's a relief for you." I force a laugh. Why am I being so awkward? I'm embarrassed for myself.

"Yeah, I couldn't work in this state," she moans, and I force another laugh. Does this mean she won't want to see me?

"Have you been up long?" she asks.

"I'm still in bed, but I've been awake about an hour," I reply.

Small talk.

But then, small talk is better than no talk. And she's not screaming at me, which is a bonus. Although that's probably due to her intense hangover. I'd be willing to bet her head is pretty sore. I grin to myself.

"What are you going to do today then?" I ask, eager to keep the conversation going.

"Probably stay in bed and nurse my hangover. What about you?"

"I'll head back to London, then home to my mum's for the week."

Damn, we already covered this yesterday.

My mind races, scrambling for subjects to talk about, so she won't hang up. Of course, it's completely blank.

Think of something to say. Anything!

Silence stretches between us, getting louder with every second that passes.

THINK!

"I thought maybe I might go for a walk along the river before I leave," I blurt. 

Seriously, where the fuck did that come from? I've been thinking no such thing.

"I wondered if you wanted to come with me?" I babble, unable to comprehend what is coming out of my mouth. "It's a beautiful day. And the fresh air might do you good?"

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