Holding On To You//Joshler

CHAPTER 3.

//AN// I have a rough idea for the some of the chapters ahead but I'm pretty much writing this as I go along so if anyone has any ideas, even if they're fillers, I'd appreciate it if you'd comment them! I'm always open to receive help and that way you'd be reading what you wanted :))) // stay alive |-/

♪Tyler♪

Sharing music with someone surely seems like such a simple thing to anyone else, but it was new to me. The concept of sharing had always been unknown to me, I obviously share a house with my family and things along those lines but they don't really reveal anything about me as a person. But I've always felt like someones music taste defined them in ways, my mind was racing I was just hoping Josh wasn't judging my taste. I could lie to myself and say I didn't care what he thought but music plays a large part in my life, and if someone as naive and people pleasing as Josh didn't like my taste who would.

"I pegged you for having trash music taste!" Josh exclaimed as he looked away from me, I could tell that he was scared of my reaction.

"I can skip it if you'd like" I felt a little blood run to my cheeks, this was embarrassing for the both of us. I knew he wasn't expecting me to reply like this, he expected a cold nod of the head or nothing at all but it's not like I wanted to be the mean guy in any situation I just wasn't particularly good at conveying my emotions.

"I meant trash as in band trash, like I knew you were such a fanboy for punk music, Take Off Your Colours, an early album hm good choice though. Personally I prefer Sinners Never Sleep it's much more rocky so" Fuck. I wasn't even looking at him and I could feel that stupid grin of his. He was so easy to read and it worried me, not everyone in school was as tolerant as me. I knew what would happen if I let him go it alone, they would all manipulate him, change him, tease him. I couldn't have that weight on my shoulders.

After walking for another half hour in silence my heart sunk a little when I saw the library in the near distance, I know it seemed like I hated the guy and we hardly spoke but it felt good having someone I hardly knew so close. The idea of learning about someone else fascinated me, like I was contempt with cruising by my life alone but I didn't have the confidence. I needed a friend, someone to help me out from time to time, one would be enough. Josh would be enough. But I have no idea how to approach him, how do you maintain a friendship? Sure you get to know each other but what then? We would just end up recycling old conversations and he'd get tired of that I'm sure.

But I don't think that choice was mine to make, Josh had pretty much glued himself to me, I don't think he understands that earphone wires are long for a reason.

"I think I can remember the way from here Ty" he flashed me a little smile before taking out the ear bud and placing it firmly back into my palm , "Thanks for tolerating me!"

"Josh, I've been with you for like an hour don't sweat it," Think Tyler, be friendly . He waved a little and started to head down the street that lead away from the crossroad. I instinctively grabbed his arm again to stop him. Note to self: I needed to stop being so aggressive.

"I was just wondering what your urm time table was?" I grabbed onto my bag straps once again so that I'd release the poor Josh from my tight grip, why did things have to be so awkward for me?Josh's smile intensified once again, he needed to stop being so excitable and open. I mean I could take it but I just
didn't want anyone to laugh at him.

"I could just show you tomorrow morning before school right? I don't want you to be late home!"

People pleaser I thought, I knew how easily nice people were taken advantage of.

"Before school hm?" I tried my best to seem a little distant so that Josh, well actually I don't know why I played coy I wanted to walk together too.

"I-I thought we could walk together? B-but if you don't want to its fine, really" his stutter returned when he realized the music had stopped and we were talking about him again.

"So let's say 8am and meet here then. Josh this sounds harsh ,but you have to be confident when you speak to me, I'm not the one you should be nervous around. It's literally everyone else OK."

"Yeah I know I'll try. I just don't want to mess this up, like you said everyone else isn't as tolerant as you I get it." Josh rubbed his hands together in effort to cool them down, he was sweating, I made him nervous. I really didn't know how not to sound mean to him but I knew the fault lied within me and not him.

"You're gonna be OK you know I didn't intend to scare you"

"It's fine, you didn't. See you at eight then I guess"

"Eight it is" my lips formed the unfamiliar shape that was a smile. It felt so unnatural but Josh seemed to like it on me.