Holding On To You//Joshler

Chapter 24

✾Josh✾

I didn't think Brendon was that much of a problem. I knew he had been horrible to Tyler in the past, but since my arrival he hadn't even looked at him in the wrong way. Tyler was weak when it came Brendon, but around me he was protective. I should not have been scared of Brendon. But I was. I was so scared. Scared to the point where I had to deny Ty's touch.

"Did I do something?" Tyler stammered, his hands frozen at his side.

"No, I just don't want to give Brendon a reason to -" I had to stop myself. Brendon was probably just on a morning walk, people did that right? I was probably worrying Tyler for no real reason.

"Reason to what?" apparently my body was transparent, because Tyler seemed to be looking straight through me.

"Is he walking over? I don't want to look"

"Do you want me to go and talk to him?"

"I'm not a child. Is he walking over?"

"If you're not a child, turn around"

"Don't tease me right now I'm being serious, is he there?"

I felt a light tap on my shoulder. The ice from Brendon's fingertips was rapidly spreading throughout my body.

"I'm here" Brendon's lips briefly brushed against the skin on my neck. He planted his chin onto my shoulder, this was Tyler's job - not Brendon's.

"Did you follow us here?" Tyler spat, he could see my obvious discomfort.

"Why on Earth would I do that?" I felt Brendon lift his chin slightly as he forced a laugh to escape his mouth.

"I think you're obsessed" Tyler cocked an eyebrow. He wasn't the nervous boy he had been only minutes ago.

"Mm perhaps, perhaps not" I could feel Brendon's grin expanding, I was afraid, afraid that it would become so big that it would push me over. "Anyway, I was just going on a jog, fate must have brought us together"

"A jog hm?" Tyler inquired.

"Yea, the thing that's halfway in between running and walking, fresh air helps to cure hangovers"

"So you're going jogging in jeans and a blazer? You're still in last nights clothes. I can smell the alcohol on you from all the way over here and I can see the darkness all around your eyes, you haven't slept at all"

"Oh yeah? " Brendon unglued himself from my neck and sauntered over to Tyler, he could barely walk in a straight line. Brendon grabbed Tyler from the shirt, but Tyler didn't flinch, he didn't even bat an eyelid.

"If I had the capacity to feel anything other than disgust I'd pity you. A drunken mess, that's all you are" Tyler pushed Brendon away lightly, It amazed me. He hated Brendon so much, yet he went out of his way to make sure he didn't harm him.

"Who said you could touch me?" he spat, he literally spat on the ground. Disgusting.

"Who said you could touch me?" Tyler echoed, he was being so brave.

Brendon was on an emotional rollercoaster, it was probably being triggered by his high levels of intoxication.

"I don't like it when you fight back" Brendon's voice sounded croaky and raw, this wasn't the first time that he had cried today. He reached out to grab Ty's shirt again, but this time it wasn't a sign of aggression. He was wrapping the cloth in his fist in effort to pull himself even closer to Tyler. Ty's eyes were wide .

"I don't know what to do when you fight back. This isn't how I planned it" His sobs were small and fit tightly between his words. Brendon wiped his eyes on Ty's shirt, his tears were leaving permanent stains.

"Brendon I think you better go before you embarrass yourself"

"Why do you care?" Brendon snapped, yet somehow he did not sound angry, if anything he sounded like he was in suffocating pain.  "All I've done is hurt you Tyler!" he let go of Ty and guarded his eyes with his fists. His back was arched and his breathing heavy. I had no idea what was happening.

"You're going to say things you don't want to, the alcohol is speaking Brendon. Go home" Tyler's bluntness was being overshadowed by his kind intent. It was like a spectator sport, I was watching Tyler face his biggest fear yet he seemed so effortlessly calm.

"I don't want to leave"

"Why is that?" Tyler walked over to Brendon and removed his hands from his face, Tyler wiped Brendon's tears and he took his chin into his own hand and forced Brendon to make eye contact. I should not have been jealous. Stop stop stop stop,  I chanted to myself. Tyler was being so kind. I only wanted Tyler to be kind to me. This was not like Tyler. Why was he being so nice? Did he and Brendon have a romantic history? My mind was racing.

"T-t-t-, Tyler" Brendon whimpered, my fists curled themselves without consent. I should not have been getting jealous. Tyler wasn't mine. Brendon wasn't Tyler's. Brendon was a bully. Tyler liked me. "Tyler, I need to tell you, its eating me up. I think I like you. I think I've liked you for a while"

Stop.

My heart froze. I needed to get out of this. I needed to go far away. I'd got too close too soon.  I didn't want to watch anything else unfold in front of me, I grabbed my jumper and began to swiftly make my way to the light at the end of the tunnel.

"Josh?" Tyler shouted. "Josh where are you going?"

"Let him go" Brendon said a little more harshly than he had intended to, "You have me now, you've always had me. I just didn't know how to tell you"

"What? So you isolated me from the entirety of our year? You bullied me to the point where no one even wanted to look at me just in case you came after them too"

 I turned around to see Tyler push Brendon away violently, the care he seemed to have had was wiped away in seconds.

"I just wanted you to get home safe, that's all. It's called decency" Brendon was strewn across the basketball court, he'd started to curl up in a ball and rock gently. He was such a child. A broken child that was fraying at the edges.

"Josh slow down" Tyler was panting heavily, I could hear his footsteps intensifying. But I didn't want to talk, everything was happening too fast, I needed to calm down. Calm down on my own.

"Joshua" my heart stung. He'd never called me that. "What have I done?" he whimpered. "I just wanted to make him go away, I didn't mean to hurt you" He paused for breath. "Have I hurt you?"

"No" I whispered softly, if I was any louder he would have heard that I was crying too. I didn't even know why I was upset. Brendon was retching in the distance, his continuous crying must have got to him. I turned around to see Tyler, his eyes swimming with panic. He didn't know whether to calm me down, or stop Brendon from hurting himself...