Hate the Player and the Game

chapter 33

Chapter 33

Diamond

               I was sixteen and still living in the damn group home. No one tried to adopt me or even thought about it once Ms. Cherry would sit down and tell them how much trouble I cause. Since I ran away almost two years ago to live with the twins, she never forgave me and probably never will. I would do so much to get her to like me by donating my too small clothes to the girls in the group home, clean her stank ass office, and volunteer in the kitchen to cook, but even all of that didn't work. After I got caught last year for stealing a shirt at the mall and Ms. Cherry had to come pick me up, she told me never to go back to there again. I straight gave her the middle finger and carried on with my boosting. I had over two thousand dollars saved under my bed. I was waiting for the right opportunity to use it. I would spend money every once and a while to buy new clothes when I felt like I needed an upgrade, but other than that I never touched it. After I got off of my one year probation from beating Dahnaysjia's ass last school year, I calmed down with the fighting. I had to learn how to control my anger. I had been doing good until I fought some new bitch that showed up at Central Queens for junior year. I beat the shit out of that bitch for trying to act better than me. She was always trying to show me up or out do me, but I put that bitch in her place and did it real good. I got suspended for three days, but at least I got to beat that bitches ass for a good three minutes. She thought that just because she had orange, light skin and long silky hair that she was better than I was. Half of that hair was gone when I was threw with her. I left that bitch on the floor crying about how she couldn't feel her left cheek and complaining about having asthma. She was in tears and wouldn't stop crying until her daddy came and picked her up for her suspension. After that, Ms. Cherry completely gave up on me. I was a full blown problem child to her and every adult around me. They didn't know the shit that I've been through. I wanted to kill Ms. Cherry when she told me that my momma had died and that I missed her funeral. I hadn't seen my mother in two long years and the least I could have done was show up to her damn funeral. She had overdosed on heroin and died with the needle still in her arm in a rundown crack house. I didn't cry, but I was so mad that Ms. Cherry didn't tell me about her funeral that I was about ready to kill her. My social worker from Harlem came down to check up on me. I hated Patricia with a passion because she really didn't even care about me. It felt like no one did. I truly had nobody. I had no family that would claim me. I wanted to live with Rasheeda, but I had no idea of where her ass was with her two kids. I never even got a chance to see those babies, but when I turned seventeen, I suddenly felt like I had a since of power. I was one year away from getting out of the damn shit house that I was living in and I could finally be free. I could live on my own and do what I wanted and when I wanted. I could have boys like Rashad come over and dive into my pussy and make me cum and I could drink and smoke all I wanted. I had recently started talking to him again after three years of falling out. We met up and fucked in the back of his car and we've been talking ever since. I had not made our relationship official and I vowed not to. I would never go through the challenges of being Rashad's girlfriend ever again. It was strictly just sex. I didn't even want people finding out about us. I even fucked with his friend Dookah a few times. His sexy chocolate skin made my head turn. His long dick even made me more crazy about him. Dookah was about twenty-two. Years old and it made me feel good that I was fucking a man. I wanted a boyfriend, but I just didn't have all of that emotional attachment to do.
        When senior year was over and summer had finally came, I was so broken that no one showed up for my graduation that I went on a rampage. I cussed out all of my old teachers, and they called the cops on me only for them to take me back to the group home and tell Ms. Cherry what I had done. I was so tired of my life that I just wanted to disappear. I layed in my twin bed for days trying to figure out what I would do with myself once the group home let me go. I started to go out more. I chilled with Rashad, fucked Rashad, fucked Dookah, drank, smoked, and fucked with Dookah some more. I partied with old friends at Saturday night parties, I let loose, and I did what ever I wanted. As I continued to party I realized that I was slowly becoming my mother. I was almost about to be homeless and I just wanted to get out and forget about my problems. I would stumble into the group home on late night/early mornings way past my curfew and collapse on my bed. Sometimes I would cry and sometimes I would spend time thinking about how much I hated everyone. I wanted to stay drunk and sometimes I wanted to stay high because when I was out of my element, I had no worries and I was happy. One summer day I decided to get off my ass and make some money, so I did.