Hate the Player and the Game

Hate the Player and the Game part lll-chapter 35

Hate the Player and the Game

Part III

Chapter 35

Diamond

           A week before I turned eighteen, Gay Tony told me that he had bought me an apartment on the east side of Queens. When he picked me up and took me to it, I was so amazed at how small and roomy it was at the same time. It was perfect for me. It was a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment with plush, off-white carpet in my room and polished wooden floors in the living area. It was on the fifth floor of a building that looked like a small hotel. I hugged Gay Tony and thanked him for everything. He had took me furniture shopping, and I spent two thousand dollars that I had in the bank on a bedroom set and on a living room set. I even bought a small dinette set to eat at and decorated my kitchen and bathroom. Gay Tony said that he had me on the bills and he even took me to get my license. When the group home released me, I stood in the middle of my apartment with a smile on my face. I had cable, a phone that worked, and a refrigerator filled with food. All I truly needed was a car, but I didn't want to ask Gay Tony for anything else because he already had done enough for me. I needed to start to get money flowing. If I wanted to get into the business, then I knew that I was going to have to start somewhere, so one day I went out and bought a big pot, and some baking soda. I had to learn to do some shit on my own so I cooked up some cocaine with Gay Tony's directions written on a napkin. I kept trying and trying until I got it right. I spent weeks in my apartment trying to make that cocaine just right, and when I did, I tested it out by selling it to someone who was familiar with the drug. I didn't try it, but I sold it to a man that lived next door that said that he did coke and he said it was perfect. I started slinging crack and I started to get more and more professional with it. I started making capsules and selling them to the man more often. He started telling me about some of his friends that did coke and I started selling to them too. When they asked me what my name was, I didn't know what to say to them. It seemed like every big time hustler had a nick name, but I loved my first name, so instead of a silly nick name, I went by Diamond Sheard. Using Cruze's last name was the only thing I had left of him. I barely knew that boy anymore. I hadn't spoken or seen him in four long years and to know that he was still alive somehow put a little relief in my spirit. I had to forget about Cruze, but how could I? He was my first love.

             At eighteen, I was a woman. I was making enough money to keep myself kept and I was living off of a gay drug lord. Dealing was the only job I knew. I refused to reduce my standards to becoming a stripper. I was smart and I pretty much invited myself into the game. It was a whole new battle field that I was taking on and I was determined to win. To be a hustler as a female, I knew that I had many obstacles to overcome, especially when it came to gaining respect by men. I had to learn to act hard, and be hard, not only when I was angry, but all the time. I constantly trained myself on how to speak if I was ever crossed the wrong way, and I trained myself on what to do in the near future if I ever had beef. Gay Tony was constantly at my apartment checking up on me and seeing how much money I was making. He laughed in my face when he only saw under four hundred dollars that I had saved. I was only dealing a little dope that I had cooked and created myself. It wasn't like I was a big time hustler, which I wanted to be. Gay Tony's laugh humiliated me. It made me feel disrespected and beneath him. I needed money and I wanted money, and what I wanted, I got. I controlled my anger every time Gay Tony laughed at me. I decided that I was going to build an empire, but I knew that I had to start from the bottom and that's where I was at the moment. I was at rock bottom and I knew that it would take some time before I got to that level in the game.

        I hung with Chardenay and Cleondra more and more now that I could do what I wanted. I even let them stay at my crib when they wanted to. I didn't want them to find out what I was doing with drugs so I hid my small factory in the deepest space there was in my closet. The twins decided that they wanted to go out to a night club one September night so I threw on a hot pink dress that hugged my body in all of the right places, slid my feet in some black stilettos, and painted my face beautifully with makeup that matched my caramel skin color. My hair was tied into a pretty up-do with pieces of curled hair sticking out over each of my ears. I sprayed on some expensive perfume and iced myself up in jewelry. When I saw the twins were ready, we called a cab and hopped in it. The cab drove us to a night club down town. Me and the twins hopped out of the cab and went to wait in line. As time flew past and we were getting impatient, we all cut to the front of the line and I watched Chardenay work her magic on the security guard. He ended up lifting the rope for us and we waltzed into the club with sways in our hips like we were the shit. We danced and let loose just like we used to back when we were in high school. As we partied, we also started to get stupid drunk. When the night club was starting to die down, we left and started walking up the street to call another cab when suddenly a big, silver SUV pulled up beside us. The window rolled down and an ugly bald man stuck his head out of the passenger side. "Ayye ladies.......yall want a ride"? He asked. I looked at the twins and we laughed our asses off. As we walked, the truck started to drive along side us. We were only eighteen years old and the man looked well into his thirties. I wondered what other friends that he had in his car that would try to holla at us if we got in. The thought of that disgusted me. We kept walking and the man grew impatient with us so the SUV came to a hault and I watched the man get out and point a a silver glock 45 at us. We all screamed and stopped walking. I just wanted to go home. I didn't know why this fool was jocking us, but all I knew was that I was getting angry more than I was getting scared. "Get in the car". The man said through clenched teeth as he approached Cleondra and grabbed her arm. He started to pull her to the truck, but Chardenay lunged for her sister and tried to pull her back. The man then pointed his gun at Chardenay. Chardenay let go of Cleondra at the sight of the gun and stumbled back.