CERTIFIED GIRL FAG

Chapter XXXI: Presents and Surprises

I thought I had a writer's block then I remembered I have my Prodigious Readers.

So I wrote this five hours straight.

Enjoy reading sweethearts! Vote and Comment please. Thank You!

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“Happy Birthday Rafael!!”

The crowd, mainly Raf’s mom, my parents, Ruby and other close friends sang the birthday song for Raf. As promised, I came and was shyly standing at the far end corner of the living room in Raf’s house. I wanted to sing too but I can’t speak, standing stiffly, cheeks flushing and my eyes was only fixed to the special person of the day who apparently, was staring intently at me. His gaze bore into mine with a soft expression on his face while a moment ago, he looked surprised when he saw me in their house like he can’t believe I was really here.

I think he didn’t remember anything on what we’ve talked about during Christmas Eve. I can’t blame him, or maybe I am, since he was so drunk. Morning of Christmas, I woke up feeling lightheaded and felt something heavy on me then realized that Raf was curled into me. His right arm and leg draped over me, hands on my waist then his head was leaning on my shoulders. He was sound asleep, breathing evenly. He’s like holding me for his dear life. I can’t help but smile seeing him like that. But panic washed over me when I realized it would be awkward between us when he wakes up, especially in our position.

So, ever so lightly, I removed him from me and breathe relief when he didn’t stir and was still asleep. I didn’t go outside immediately as I stared at his innocent, handsome face for I don’t know how long kneeling on the floor at my bedside. I wanted to touch his beautiful face but fought the urge to do it.

I took a quick shower, borrowed dad’s car keys and got out of the house as fast as I could driving into the snow with no idea where to go. I asked Ruby to help Raf and take care of him and emphasized to her that she shouldn’t tell Raf that we slept together in my bed. I know I sounded and looked like a coward but I just don’t want him to expect that I’m okay with him around me.

Who are you kidding?

Ugh. Okay! Of course I’m okay, more than okay that he’s around me but...

I want to be free from all of him for awhile so I can fix my heart again and maybe in time, all my feelings for him will be gone and we can continue being best friends.

I just hope it will happen ‘coz as far as I know, my body reacts immediately when he’s around me or even if I’m just thinking about him.

As I got out and far from our house, I drove around New York feeling the holiday season overwhelm me. There were a lot of people outside the busy streets of Big Apple even in this cold season, happy with their family, friends and love ones. I have no idea where am I going but my mind clicked suddenly remembering our discussion last night.

I had a hard time thinking on what to give for Raf on his birthday. In high school, I usually give him what he wants like designer clothes, perfume, CD’s and cakes. It was easy then since he usually say what he wants and of course, he’s gay so I know what he really wants since he acts like a girl.

But now... everything changed. He’s still a gay, my subconscious say but I’ve already given him the common things. I want it to be special even if we’re not best friends anymore.

I was walking idly around the mall when my eyes fixed on a couple sitting at the side of the fountain. The girl was giggling, covering her face while her guy was grinning taking pictures of her. I can’t help but remember the times Raf would do that, taking candid pictures of me. He never showed me those pictures ‘coz he said it’s a photographers rule. Whatever! I bet it’s just because it was all awful.