CaptainSwan in College

Sick

*Killian's POV*

Emma had been acting strangely ever since the party last week and I couldn't figure out why. Sure, I didn't remember the end of the night, but what could I have done that would make her act like this? Before we'd been all over each other at night, but since I'd gone back to work she said she was too tired and I tried to understand, I really did. Our kids were a lot to handle all day alone, but even then I still feel like she would try because that's what she did. I didn't want to be an ass and ask her about it, but she wouldn't talk to me and I was starting to worry we really had lost our spark now.

Another week passed and I finally just needed to know one way or another. I got home late that Friday night, trying to be quiet since I knew the girls were in bed and the house was dark. I sighed to myself, she didn't even wait up for me anymore. I went to our room and found her asleep with the small lamp on and the girls' baby books on the bed, and if that wasn't surprising enough, she was curled around my pillow the way she always used to be when I worked late. Now I was just beyond confused. If it wasn't her not wanting me, then what...

"Emma," I whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed in front of her after changing and rubbing her side gently to wake her. "Emma, love, wake up."

"Hmm?" she groaned, her eyes fluttering open just as I brushed her hair out of her face and a sleepy smile came to her lips. "Hey, you're home. I tried to wait up for you, but I guess I fell asleep."

"That's alright, love," I assured her, starting to feel like an idiot for thinking she didn't want me anymore. "I know you've been tired lately. What were you doing with the baby books anyway?"

"Nothing," she shook her head, sitting up to grab them and put them in the drawer next to the bed. "Just looking through them is all. Why are you still sitting up? Come to bed."

"I-I can't," I said, looking down and taking a breath. "I know this is a terrible time, but I need to talk to you."

"What's wrong?" she asked with such concern, making me look up when she put her hand on mine and soon putting the other on my cheek when I hesitated. "Killian, what is it? Are they sending you somewhere again?"

"No, nothing like that," shook my head, taking her hand from my cheek and finally meeting her eyes. "It's actually about us." Confusion filled her eyes and her eyebrows pulled together, that horribly adorable crease forming between them. "You've been avoiding me for weeks now, I just want to know what I did."

"What you did?" she asked, seeming completely lost. "What are you talking about?"

"At that stupid party," I said with a bit of frustration. "I don't remember all of it, but the next morning you were acting strange and distant so I obviously did or said something wrong. Whatever it was, I'm sorry. You know how I get when I'm drunk, I didn't mean it."

"Oh, I don't know that you didn't mean it," she sighed, looking down at our hands on my lap. "You made a comment about more babies when we went to bed and I brushed it off at first because you were drunk, but then I started overthinking and..." She looked back up. "I'm really sorry, I didn't realize I was pushing you away like that."

"That's all it was?" I asked, relieved tears behind my eyes. "Oh my god, no. We just settled back into our lives with our girls, we're not ready for that yet at all."

"Oh thank god," She breathed, quickly sitting up on her knees to hug me around my neck. I hugged her to me tightly, closing my eyes and turning my face into her hair. "If you really wanted to I was going to tell you I would, but I-I just can't handle that right now."

"It's okay, Swan, neither can I," I assured her, feeling her tears hit my neck and holding her tighter to me before pulling away. I put both my hands on her cheeks, wiping her tears with my thumbs gently. "Why don't we get some real sleep since I know you've been restless, then tomorrow I'll take you out on a real date like I haven't in ages, okay?"