My Possessive Hooded Stranger

17.

Copyright 2016

My Possessive Hooded Stranger

Chapter Seventeen

A/N
Hi, my little Dirty Minds!!! I am so sorry for the delay! I apologize for that. First, news on my momma. Everything is perfectly fine at the moment! After MANY MANY MANY more tests, they found a tumor. However, it is benign! A tremendous amount of scar tissue surrounded itself around the tumor and it formed a very large, very hard, mass. They can operate to remove it, but with it being non-cancerous, the surgery is just optional seeing as it is not causing risk. She doesn't want to have to undergo any procedures unless it is 100% necessary. We are so thankful to all of you for continuing to keep her in your thoughts and prayers!! We keep you all in ours as well! I am so thankful for each and every one of you and I just want to give you all hugs! You're all so great and I love you all. Secondly, I have been crazy booked with orders! So it has been non stop crocheting. I just finished a HUGE project...a California King Size Crochet Quilt. It is huge and has taken quite some time to make! But I am in the process of making some more things...I am thinking of opening up an ETSY shop, but I'm not sure yet. But between my orders, doctors visits, and being sick myself...its been crazy busy. I've been working on this chapter for what seems like forever. I'm sorry it isn't that great. But I will be trying to upload daily again. I love you all! Please vote and comment like usual. 💕💕
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Strong arms wrapped tightly around my waist, pulling me gently from my sleep. A small whine escaped from me, causing his arms to tighten around my small frame. "Hush now, little one. I'm only taking you to the bed," His voice whispered softly against the shell of my ear.

Tingles of pleasure shot down my spine as his hot breath blew gently against my ear. I shivered slightly against him before burrowing deeper into his warm embrace.

I honestly had no idea how I was meant to feel. I was in love with the man that was carrying me to his bed, holding me tightly like a small child; nestled against his chest with my arms twined around his neck and my legs wrapped securely around his waist, my head burrowed underneath his chin. I was in love with a ridiculously possessive, giant, hulk of a man, and I had finally admitted it, not only to myself, but to the hulk himself...and he told me that I could not love him.  How was I meant to feel after being told that I could not feel what I feel. I had no idea what I was meant to feel, but I could tell you all what I did feel.

Disappointment.

dis•ap•point•ment

/ˌdisəˈpointmənt/ -the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.

The simple definition of disappointment described exactly how I felt; to the T. I had expected Arson to grin triumphantly or wrap me tightly in his arms and kiss me until I nearly fainted dead away from lack of air. What I had not expected was for him to push me away, and tell me that I could not love him.

"Baby, I can practically feel the wheels spinning in that pretty little head of yours," One of his hands ran gently along the column of my back, while the other rest firmly under my bum. "Just breathe, Freya. Breathe." While he meant to be soothing, he was being anything but soothing. My mind was racing one million miles per minute and I could not stop myself from conjuring up the "never should you ever's"...AKA, the "what if's".

What if he hadn't of said "you cannot love me,"?

What if had said that he did love me too?

What if he had said that he was in love with me too?

What if he had grinned triumphantly and pulled me tightly against him and kissed me until I could barely breathe?

What if he had said that he didn't mean to say that?

So many "what if's" circulated throughout my mind, causing my head to spin. They said that you should never go down the path of "what could have been", but honesty I couldn't help myself. The "what if's" were the only thing keeping me sane as he held me in his strong arms.

How could I switch my emotions so easily? One moment I was unsure of how I was meant to feel, yet I knew how I felt. I felt a sense of disappointment so deeply that I was unsure if Hawk would even be able to change it. Yet there I was, thinking about his strong arms coiled tightly around my body.

That was the thing about love.

It made you unstable.

One moment you were on top of the world, deliriously happy. The next...you crashed and burned. You would be happy, and moments later you were either angry, sad, annoyed, or frustrated...something other than happy. That was love. Love wasn't meant to be perfect, like the stories would have you believe. Love wasn't meant to be perfect. Love was meant to be perfectly messy.

The joy in love was that no matter the emotions that were felt throughout it, love would always be there in the end. Whether you were angry, sad, annoyed, or frustrated...something other than happy, at the end of it all, you still loved. Love wasn't meant to be perfect. If it was, what would be the point in having it?

When you truly love, you know that even if you fight, you still love one another. When you truly love, you know that even though you may not like them, you will always love them. When you truly love, you understand the true concept of love. You understand that love wasn't something that was meant to be picture perfect. But that it was something that was meant to be perfectly messy so that you and your love could perfect it all on your own.

That was the thing about love.

It made you unstable.

It was messy.

It was perfectly messy, and it made you unstable...because it made you feel. When you feel...your head is in your heart. And though that might sound insane, those of you that have loved will comprehend that well.

A sigh sounded through the air as I felt myself being placed gently upon a soft foamy surface. "Come on now, little one. I know that you are going off on a tangent in that pretty little head, but it's time for us to talk, baby." I felt the bed shift lightly as Hawk moved to sit down below my feet.

I was not sure if I was ready to talk to Hawk yet. But I knew that I couldn't put it off for much longer. All I wanted was to hear him say that he was in love with me too...but I knew that that was too much for me to ask for. Though I was in love with Hawk, I  just had to accept the fact that he was not going to fall in love with me.

I was going to have to move on.

But how was I going to do that when my head was in my heart? How was I going to move on when I was so irrevocably in love with the man that was currently sitting at my feet?

If he doesn't love you, Freya...you have to move on.

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