Passion's Instinct

Seventy Seven

Natalie

The tears ran down my neck. They even dried once they reached my chest.

I was sobbing. Not even just from that fight between me and my husband. From everything. I just needed to let it all go.

As I sat there in bed, with my head buried between my knees, letting the salty tears run down my calves, I thought everything over. I just had taken everything out on Hayden. I had told myself before that I would never do that to him.

But I did.

I was mad at him, mad at everyone. The past was just all pushing down on me, the pressure piling up.

I locked him out of our room. But why did that matter? He was probably in his man cave, watching a movie and eating junk food and forgetting about the fight we just had. He would probably act like it never happened when he saw me next. He --

There was a light knock at the door. I lifted my head, tasting tears as I opened my mouth and snapped, "what?"

"Can I come in, babe?" I heard Hayden call softly. "We can talk about it, if you want."

"No, Hayden! You aren't going to make anything better, just go to your man cave and watch movies."

I heard him smirk from outside the door. "Please. And leave you to cry alone?"

I sat there for a second, letting his words sink in. I was silent, and then I heard the lock click and the doorknob turn, the door pushed open and then closed again.

I felt my husband sit beside me, all of his extra weight and muscle pushing the mattress down and forcing me to lean into his strong chest, smelling faintly of the cologne he put on this morning, the same one he had been using every morning for eleven years.

He rubbed my side and pressed his lips to my head, calming me.

"I am so sorry."

I sat there for a second. 'I am so sorry.'

That, I knew, he meant.

I started to burst out in tears again, burying my face in his chest and inhaling sharply, quickly. "Me too."

"I forgive you," we both said in unison.

I sat up and looked at him. "Can we never fight like that again?"

He raised his eyebrows and let out a breath, looking at me. "Well, we are married, so I can't guarantee it... but we might as well try."

Tears still running down my cheeks, around my nose, my mouth... Hayden took my face in his hands and kissed my salty, wet-with-tears lips, holding on for a good five seconds. He pulled away and met eyes with me, his blue ones bright in the dark room.

"You want to go watch Star Wars?" I asked.

"Sure," he said with a smile. "Let's go."

**********************************

After the fight was over and we watched Star Wars and ate popcorn and chocolate (the hidden stuff) on the couch, I was over my sorrows and ready to start fresh.

"Goodnight, Hayden," I said once it was two o'clock in the morning and we were in bed.

"Night, Natalie."

"I love you."

"I love you the most. For real."

I smiled as I turned over in bed, ready for the morning, ready to start a new day. Let's just hope tomorrow goes better.